I opened my arms and she clung to me in one of those heart-hugs, where you need each other and you just hold each other. Though she was not outwardly sobbing, tears were in her eyes. I could feel her pain deep inside. I held her a couple, three minutes, and then she haltingly spoke of her sadness. That is what thoughts and prayers are about, connecting at the heart and sharing the heartache.

I was in church on a rather difficult day. Many in our church family were stunned because of a recent cancer diagnoses of a dear senior saint, one of the pillars in our church. I was trying to process this unwelcome news. She has two sisters that attend our church, one is on the quiet side, and the other is more outgoing. They’ve sung as a trio with a fourth sister accompanying at the piano. I’ve known the quiet one most of my life. She lost a son and a sister in recent years and is still grieving their loss. After the service I went over to her and spoke of my concern and care. Then we hugged as I comforted her.

‘I’m praying for you,’ ‘Thoughts and prayers,’ ‘Love and prayers’ are concluding statements that roll off the tip of the tongue, that we use to close out a Get Well card or more often than not end a Facebook post in response to a person’s troubles or loss.

‘Thoughts and prayers’ speak to the need. They say the message the writer wishes to convey to a friend or colleague going through a rough patch. When a friend infers they’re praying for you, it is often perceived as ‘I’m standing with you in this. I know this matters, and I am praying with you and for you.’

Yes, words like these bring comfort to the afflicted and light to the journey. People need each others’ comfort and encouragement. Dark days in the daily or on the horizon come to all people. How others respond to the crisis, with love and prayers or other, makes a difference and may determine whether the person feels alone or uplifted by those who know their troubles.

The phrase ‘Thoughts and prayers’ has received some criticism as of late. People carry signs that say “Thoughts and prayers are not enough.” Some see the phrase as shallow, disingenuous, out of touch, or as something that simply doesn’t work or move people to do the right thing.

Is this criticism justified? Are ‘thoughts and prayers’ at fault and not effective? I don’t think so, because of the way they are being implicated. I believe they can be, will be, and are effective when prayed with godly fervor by godly people who trust in God.

Certainly, thoughts and prayers should include hearts of prayer and spiritual acts of kindness. The phrase is meant as an encouragement, a way of saying, I’m hanging in there with you. For many, it’s not just a phrase, they do pray, and their prayers do make a difference. How much difference, only God knows. I do know we derive comfort and blessings when they are received.

People reach out to each other in a way their community accepts and believes. In the Christian – religious community these kinds of phrases communicate the personal element in relationship to the God element, invoking the Divine Presence to help with their human area of need.

“Thinking of you” is a secular form of addressing and acknowledging a loss or struggle. An acquaintance of mine lost her dear husband. After his passing, her thread on FaceBook, with several  dozens of friends giving words of sympathy, had no mention of God nor any “Thoughts and Prayers,” and not one spiritual sentiment. I read through the many comments and felt a corresponding emptiness at the absence of the spiritual dimension of godly comfort.

People’s vulnerability or self-stuff may stave off others’ efforts to walk along side, especially during times of suffering and difficulty. Private or public, people deal with their crises in their own way. Some may be welcoming where others may be retreating. Unless the person is close to the other person, it would seem that less is more; but to not acknowledge the loss, to do ‘nothing,’ is hurtful. Although it is not always possible to know what is welcome or not.

We have to be careful. With tears in her voice, one young widowed woman told me how she threw away the last of the bereavement cards without ever opening them because they were reminders of her loss, her husband’s passing. She couldn’t bear her loss and the cards brought pain to her. That may seem extreme, but we all grieve differently. People react to difficult circumstances in their own way. We should be sensitive to this.

Prayer, genuine prayer, is not dependent on the other person, their reactions, beliefs or biases. We can always pray. A person of prayer may pray blessings and comfort on those who are going through it without a word being spoken or written. Our attitude can convey the same message, ‘I care about you, and I want to be there for you.’

A godly person desires God’s best for the individual and asks for his help on their behalf. For example, monks in a monastery pray for the world, which is something they do on a daily basis. Their prayers impact the world though most are ignorant of this fact. Monks live lives separated from the world, but they are engaged in praying for people, places, and nations. This is a great gift and blessing to the outside world.

Prayer is an opportunity to involve the holy in natural functions. Prayer begins with a spiritual thought that welcomes God into the conversation. Praises and thanksgiving join as thoughts lift to the heavens. Thoughts and prayers are not empty words. They are full of goodness and graciousness because prayer is active. True thoughts and prayers are invoking God to enact a blessing. I think that’s pretty special.

God’s presence is made manifest while his being is acknowledged and worshiped. Words of solicitation are prayed to God because of belief in his goodness and his promises. Nothing is wasted in God’s economy. Prayerful interactions with the Divine are for spiritual betterment and godly intervening. The words are sincere and active, not commonplace without intent.

Thoughts and Prayers,

To God be the Glory.

Pray without ceasing.

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