“Let’s do something different for Christmas this year” she said to me.

I wanted it to be a nice Christmas, one to remember — and it was. That year’s Christmas celebration had a different twist to it. The annual, traditional, gift-giving exchange between our family units did not happen—on purpose. It had been my sister’s idea to begin with.

“In light of Hurricane Katrina, I was thinking it might be a good idea to give a money donation to help someone in need instead of us exchanging gifts with each others’ families,” my sister said during a phone conversation a few weeks before Christmas.

“What are you proposing? How would we do it?” I asked, curious about her thinking. She responded that it would be nice to still include the gift exchange between the grandchildren and grandparents, but the rest of us could donate to a favorite charity of Mother and Dad’s or something like that. She said she would talk to everyone first  to see if they would like to do this in lieu of a gift exchange. I agreed to the idea.

I have to admit my silent reaction was one of disappointment. I have always enjoyed the way our family exchanges family to family as everyone comes together with homemade and unique gifts with lots of personal touches. But quick on the heels of that thought was one of relief. Now I wouldn’t have to search and search to find the right gifts. I thought to myself, it’s a good thing I am not an early shopper and this will make Christmas easier.

As Christmas drew nearer it was decided by all the extended family that that was what we would do. Our different families would make suggestions as to who the recipient could be. I thought of a couple of families who could use some help. It made me wonder how we would figure it out in a way that would please everyone.

The next time my sister and I talked, she said that my other sister and brother-in-law from Panama who were in the states for the year, had suggested someone from their mission ministry in Panama who they had led to the Lord. I told her that I had been thinking of someone else, too, but probably, with my choice, the need was not as great.

A decision was made that on Christmas Day we adults would have a round table discussion. Each could share what was on their heart about who would be the recipient of our family’s money gift. What a nice way to handle this, I thought to myself. The Christmas was going to be extra special in other ways as well, both of my brother-in-law’s mothers were coming to California to join our family, one from Idaho and the other from Montana. I thought this type of gift exchange would make it more comfortable for them as well.

My parents’ house was bursting at the seams with family on Christmas Day that year. There were over thirty of us. How blessed it was and such a meaningful time. After dinner, we adults gathered round the antique, mahogany dining room table.

Suggested Recipients

Recipient 1. My brother and his wife shared about a woman in their church who was struggling. Her husband had left her and money was tight. She could use a helping hand and especially the encouragement.

Recipient 2. I shared about an older woman whose husband was in jail. Her funds were limited and the difficulty of her situation made it an emotional and financial hardship. I knew it would be a blessing to her. She had little money to live on and her grown children didn’t have the means to support her.

Recipient 3. I also shared about a family new to my church. He was a recent convert recovering from substance abuse and had recently been hospitalized for leukemia. He was musically gifted and active on our church worship team. I thought it might be an encouragement to him and his family.

Recipient 4. My brother-in-law shared with us about the woman in Panama. She was a housekeeper in Panama who had been diagnosed with a serious illness. She had undergone surgery but had physical limitations. As a single parent, she cared for her daughters as best she could but was living in hardship. Her faith was strong despite the severity of her situation.

As a group, we decided that we adults could donate to whomever we wished from the different needs that had been suggested. During the rest of Christmas Day each of us would make contact with the person who had mentioned the need and contribute to them privately. All the suggestions were worthy. It would be hard to decide. I hoped all would receive donations.

As the day progressed, different ones came to me to donate to the two suggested recipients I had mentioned. It touched me when one of the mother-in-laws’ contributed to my suggestions. I hadn’t expected a guest to participate. I did the same with some of the other requests. I found myself giving more than I would normally have spent on family gifts. I wanted each one to receive a generous amount. To the young woman whose husband had left her, I wrote a note of encouragement by acknowledging and then relating to her painful situation.

During the week that followed, I sent out notes to both my gift-recipients, stating that the gift was from the Brumbaugh family, although it really was from God through us. I deliberated on how to word it, to say it in a correct way.

Recipients’ Responses to the Money Gifts

Response 1. It was a joy to hear back after the gifts were received. The woman whose husband was incarcerated called me up, her voice appreciative with a hint of emotion in it. Yes, times had been hard and she was grateful for the gift and for our concern for her. She wanted me to thank everyone. It would meet a specific need.

Response 2. The man from my church thanked me, his smile genuine and words sincere, telling me it met a need. My pastor later told me that when the card was received, this man told him that it was exactly the amount needed to meet their house payment. The gift surprised him and blessed his family while also encouraging him in his faith.

Response 3. The note I wrote to the woman who had been left by her husband didn’t go unacknowledged, either. Later she and I met at a retreat and we talked for hours. She was looking for answers and I shared what I could from what I had learned during the hard times. Our hearts met in understanding, two women looking to God when the pieces don’t fit after your marriage falls apart.

The family celebration that year was one of those special times when the true meaning of Christmas was felt by all. It is both satisfying and rewarding when we give to others with no thought of receiving anything in return. I’m glad my sister helped our family see the joy of giving to help and to bless.

That year Christmas was an extra blessing to all who received and to all who gave.

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