The Need to be Kind

The importance of being kind cannot be understated.  If everyone would put a kindness factor in place, to be kind to others regardless of how we feel about them, it would change the world. Kindness is a respectful attitude that takes the time to be patient with others even when they irritate us or may not deserve it.

I reckon there are three things in life that are important.

The first is to be kind.

The second is to be kind.

The third is to be kind.

 (Leanin’ Tree)

Really?

The class that year was a combination 2nd-3rd split. The students were a mix of low achievers, misbehavers, children at risk, a few too shy to respond at all, immature children and so forth. The class was formed a month in. With human nature and all that, I got dumped on by the other teachers or so it seemed.

I knew the goal. I was determined to bring my class up to speed and to make it sing. The students’ struggles, day in and day out, challenged my best efforts. The classroom dynamics made it difficult to meet my educational objectives. With great intention, I instituted several ‘extras’ to help us bond as a group.

The hyperactive student learned to self-monitor his behavior. He would move himself to a special desk next to my desk whenever he was distracted or was the one causing distraction. He became efficient at this without me intervening. He’d smile at me and I’d smile back when it was time for him to re-situate himself. He liked monitoring his own behavior, and its calming effects.

The students needed a sense of being a part of a whole. Acts of kindness were written on slips of paper anonymously and put in a slotted box to be read on Fridays by me. I made sure I participated. Students were asking teachers and aides if they could help them. The playground never looked better. They kept it litter free. They loved this.

I wanted my students to feel appreciated and good about themselves. They saw themselves as losers. To accomplish this, we would have to get to know each other better. Every morning after the flag salute, one student in our class was featured in the spotlight. They were given an uninterrupted opportunity to talk about their likes, dislikes, and interests in front of the class, one per day. No one was allowed to snicker or be rude. Shy children were encouraged through prompts from me. This was done every day throughout the school year.

When one boy lost his black puppy, we as a class were concerned. He had showed up at school crying, standing by the door waiting for me to arrive. I ushered him inside and the children waited. It’d been a hard year for him, his father had separated from the family, and his mom was a mess. I prayed that night that the puppy would be found. I knew he needed his puppy. The next morning he was all smiles. Yes, the puppy had been found. I sent a prayer up to God, “Thanks, God. He needed his puppy.”

On Valentine’s Day we stepped it up. I wanted the class to appreciate the adults who served them. We should always thank people who help us. Our class made thank you cards for every support person who worked on campus: Crossing guard, the cook and cafeteria workers, yard duty personnel, instructional aides, office personnel, maintenance personnel, bus drivers, computer technician.

I taught the children proper etiquette; then they practiced together, student with student. The children learned how to introduce themselves to their card’s recipient, how to look them in the eye, shake their hand or give them a hug, after they read the card out loud and hand delivered it to its recipient. I sent them out two-by-two to deliver the cards.

The staff loved it, and the children? There was so much positive energy and happiness in the room after the cards were personally delivered that the children glowed.By making others feel special, they felt special.

By the year’s end we as a class had grown into a community of caring individuals. The most out-going child encouraged the most reserved child. The former home-schooled child was cheered when his artwork was appreciated. The children became proud of each other’s successes. Their energy dial now pointed to the positive.

Kindness works that way. Kindness is universal, has no political party, encourages positive social interactions, and is other-centered. The act of being kind begins in the heart, is activated by the mind, is cultivated by the Spirit, and is instituted by the action.

A pure heart will extend grace to others because it wants to and knows it is the right thing to do. In the Beatitudes, Jesus says it well, “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.” Matthew 5:8 ESV

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32 ESV

A good way to live out faith is in the little things, the everyday kindnesses. “Faith without works is dead,” Scripture says. Faith gives out of its ‘living’ generosity and its valuing of all life. Spiritual goodness is such that positive works become part of its process and flow.

‘Be kind’ is a motto to live by. I highly recommend it.

The rest of the story:

A few years later, the young man who had lost his puppy, now at 6’2″,  happened to cross my path. He greeted me with a huge grin and asked me how I was doing. He said he remembered being my student and some of the activities we had done in class. His smile and greeting made me smile. He remembered the “extras” and it was worth it.

Be kind.

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Inspirational Writer, Author, and Speaker

PO Box 6432, Chico, CA 95927
nlbrumbaugh@gmail.com

Keep a smile in your heart.

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2 thoughts on “The Need to be Kind

  1. This is such a lovely story. I admire how teacher pour into their students so well day-in and day-out. Many of my closest friends are teachers and exercise kindness to themselves and their students.

    And I think kindness is certainly relevant in every other area of life as well. As a book reviewer, I try so hard to be kind and yet honest in each review. Just because a book didn’t sit well with me doesn’t mean that I should be cruel in my review.

    Thanks for the reminder of the power of kindness.

  2. Thank you, Barbara. That’s right about book reviews. There are kind ways to say hard things. I struggle with the same problem with reviews. The solution that works best for me is to be selective in what I review. When someone asks me for a review, I have a stipulation… if I can’t give their book at least a 3 star rating, then I won’t post a review. But that’s me. Kindness is a gift to others. Thank you for your comment.