Category Archives: Atheism, Belief, Perspective, Religion, Viewpoint

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The Scoop about Religion, Millennials, and their Parents

Part 1: It’s a Hard Thing

Is this you?

You raised your kids in the church but some of them are not going to church, not following the Lord, or they are not active in the church, or they have forsaken it all and don’t believe in God. You wonder what went wrong, you tried so hard to do it right, to not be legalistic, to be loving and caring, to teach and model your beliefs before them.

Don’t beat yourself up. You are not alone. Many in the Millennial generation (1980-2005) are going a different route when it comes to religious belief. You probably already know this and you are not surprised.

The other day I had a conversation with my eighty-five year old mother. I mentioned a young couple who have cohabited as partners for a number of years. One was raised in a strong Christian home. I told my mom they are planning to buy a house. Mother responded with, “They’re not married are they?” I said, “No.” She then says, “That’s how a lot of young people are doing it these days.” I replied, “Yes. That’s the way it is,” (not saying to her what I’m really thinking, how it breaks my heart). I was surprised my mother had figured it out; she’s not out in the world and is no longer active due to decline. I have to admit, the devaluing and loss of respect for the institution of marriage causes a great sadness in me. I’m proud that some Christian young people don’t cave to the pressure. But I digress.

Many Christians my age have adult kids who don’t have anything to do with church and speak negatively of their past church experiences, or they are self-proclaimed atheists, skeptics, or agnostics who say they’ve rejected God entirely, or think God is a myth, a cosmos entity or universal possibility, or just not for them. God is not real to them in a personal way.

The bottom line, they’ve adopted a secular worldview. They’ve drifted, are adrift, looking for truth in other places. They’re also vulnerable. All that shines is not gold. Bondage to wrong ideals, messages, or addictive behaviors are easy to come by; they fill the void.

Other forms of beliefs are now mainstream and draw many unsuspecting individuals into their circles. Neo-paganism tied to pagan rituals or other non-God belief systems make their alternative religion attractive for it embraces sensuality and openness without moral boundaries. As contemporary Christianity wanes in its effectiveness to affect western culture (if this is true), then this is not a surprising outcome.

I believe true Christianity can counter this wave of unbelief when it springs alive and well within its true followers. I believe this with all my heart. That’s why I share the same message of life, over and over again. Christ speaks life to the soul, and he makes those who follow him anew. They are never the same. A redeemed soul, a new life turned to Jesus, has life everlasting, which is love everlasting.

All people have an internal need that needs filling. They will fill it with something.

This week I took a tour of the Barnes & Noble religious section to see the religion-oriented books on display. Several shelves are devoted to Christian-based offerings and then you come to the New Age section, for lack of a better descriptor, which then bleeds into the mystical and extra-experiential, the tarot cards and such, with a wide array in the ‘spirituality,’ non-conventional camp. I was uneasy (though intrigued) while reading some of the titles because the evil side is also represented (witchcraft). I moved on rather quickly because there is always the hook that pulls you in. I’ve determined to skirt around anything that may be dangerous ever since I read The Bondage Breaker. In my opinion, you don’t want to mess around or expose yourself to satanic influencers.

I have a big heart for the Millennial generation. I am drawn to them. I love them and pray as we talk, though unbeknownst to them. I enjoy talking with them, in grocery lines, with my kids’ friends, with my nieces and nephews at a family dinner, wherever. All five of my children are Millennials.

Here’s what interests me. I want to know from where the Millennial generation is getting their “spiritual” nourishment, aside from the Christ-followers. From what I have been reading, it seems to be all over the place. Christian writers know their audience is increasingly broad-minded rather than spiritually-minded. Many readers have limited or no biblical background. By in large, they are unaware of bible stories, ignorant of basic biblical truths and disinterested in theological concepts, other than to debate them. Christian writers can no longer assume their younger readers will have a similar background as the older generation, nor do they have have Christian truth to draw upon. (Here’s an opportunity, don’t you think?)

Dan Balow of the Steve Laube Agency, wrote about this phenomenon in this article  with regard to current cultural views about homosexuality, co-habitating, drinking, secular beliefs and values. We could add abortion to the list. Society, both in and out of the church, has adopted a lifestyle that does not match the ways set forth by God in his word. Most don’t intend to live separated lives unto Christ as in a biblical pattern. The secularizing of current society has “reaches” back to at least two generations and maybe before that, as our public institutions embraced Darwinism and Science as their foundation and pulpit to explain life and its purpose. God was left out of the conversation, seen as an irrelevant subject and simplistic way to look at life.

Parents, like many of you, raised their children in the Lord and took God’s ways seriously, suffer a great deal of disappointment and pain when their adult children choose to live contrary to God’s ways and have little desire to serve the Lord, or live pure and holy lives. If this is you, dear Christian parent, then you know a barrier of belief causes an invisible separation between you and any unbelieving kids/grandchildren. How can it not? You and them are serving two different masters, gods. However, God’s ways are always God’s ways, whether believed and followed or not. God is not asleep, just ask Elijah. He tested it in the grandest of contests. And God answered, triumphantly answered!

The social values of our time are pressing in on family structures and today’s Christianity.  Social conditioning is destroying the fabric of the human family unit and plundering its secure relationship. Tensions on all sides are ripping the fabric apart. Christians are letting it slip through their fingers as they, also, seek the promises the allure of the world dangles before them. They may not even realize it. Satan has his finger in the pie, as well. He wants this generation for his good pleasure and is causing all sorts of havoc. He’s determined to bring Christianity down to its knees. This is a battle, folks. Christians are on the winning side.

I claim the victory in Jesus’ name. Won’t you join me?

If this is in your family, please pay attention. The solution rests with you and with God. You, as God’s emissary, are the light in your world, the light that shines in the darkness. Christ shines through you. That is important. Don’t ever forget this. You have a mission.

You may ask, but where is God, I don’t see him. Where has God gone? The answer. He is still here. Waiting. God is waiting for you and your children to return or enter his welcoming presence, to avail yourselves of his mercy and grace. He is longsuffering and patient.

Is all hopeless? Of course not.

Can you do anything about it? Yes, you can.

What can you do about your grandchildren who are being exposed to unrighteous behavior and are not being nurtured in the ways of God and the faith of their fathers? You step it up and respond in a heart-felt biblical fashion. You let God lead you and open up opportunities. You speak truth in love with the Spirit’s enabling. You pray for their minds and hearts.

To change it up for those straying or lost requires a devoted persistence in living the way of the Cross in all you do. You are given this task. The weight you bear in your heart tells you this is true.

Think of the Prodigal’s father; he let his son go, gave him the inheritance, and then he longed and waited for his son to come home … and the father never gave up on his son. He didn’t blame or shame, he rejoiced upon his son’s return. Think of the hound of heaven, Who never stops pursuing those who’ve turned to their own ways and devices. Think of Jonah, who couldn’t escape God’s purpose to save a city of now repentant, formerly, ungodly people. Think of Monica, St. Augustine’s mother, who devoted herself to prayer and service for years and years, that her son would turn from his sins and follow Christ. Read his book, Confessions. Look at what God accomplished through Monica’s son after his conversion, the world renowned, Augustine of Hippo, whose study and devotion contributed to theological structures in the developing church. Think of Christ, who is not willing that any should perish but that all would come to repentance and be saved.

No one is without hope. Christ is the promise and hope. Hope springs eternal.

When you look at lost Millennials with your eyes wide open, you will see blank slates, waiting to be written on by the hand of God. Don’t forget this. This is God’s work, and God is still at work. You get to be a part of his arms and feet. Here is what is encouraging. The Millennials are a generation that doesn’t want their parents’ or grandparents’ religion. This means they want something fresh, that speaks to their souls, something real. It can be the real deal.

When God floods their being, they will miraculously change through the newness and refreshing of God’s Spirit. A light bulb will come on. In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, they will be transformed. Their expressions will lose that blank look. Spiritual intelligence will infuse their beings and give them definition … and will also blot out the shame and blame through their repentance and Christ’s forgiveness. Imagine it. Pray for it. Expect it! You and I can look forward to that day. Amen?

This writing has not addressed the Christ-following Millennials. I don’t want to discount the richness they add to the conversation and culture.  Many can be found in soup kitchens and ministries acround the world. I thank God for their willingness and earnestness to serve God with their hearts and with little acclaim. Their reward is not of this world.

God bless you.

Thoughts from my tender heart. Keep seeking until you find. See you next week.

Next Week: Part 2: Spiritual tools to reach the lost generation: 5 steps to guide you as you help your spiritually lost or straying Millennial.

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The Day I Met Wm. Paul Young

I first became aware of The Shack by the buzz it was creating in my church. The same people who are first to read what’s new, like The Prayer of Jabez a few years earlier, The Purpose Driven Life, Jesus Calling and so forth, were talking about it. Some were telling others to not read it because of the imagery. Call me curious, I waited until it showed up at Costco, then I purchased a copy. I wasn’t too far into it when I realized two things: Some people were not going to like it with a passion, and others, like me, were going to be touched by its understanding of damaged emotions in people who were wounded by  “spiritual” people, or wounded by loss, disappointment with God, and were, consequently, angry with God or resentful.

Like I always do, I researched the author. I read his quotes, his beliefs, his history, his foraging into new territory and leaving the past behind for life-altering, life-giving opportunities. He’d walked the uneven journey, and it wasn’t all pretty. Learning his personal history made the book make all the more sense to me. I knew I would jump at the chance if ever given the opportunity to meet Wm. Paul Young, author of The Shack.

Like my first impression, the reality is that controversy swirls around W. P. Young and his writings. I “got” his message and wished more in the faith community would stop trying to make the book into something it isn’t and accept it as a loving gift to people who will benefit from it. This sensitivity of mine to these very same issues contributed to my intrigue with a writer who wasn’t afraid to put it out there anyways. We part company in some of our conclusions about the spiritual, but we share the same lens about other matters of great importance, like compassion and God’s love.

Unconventional Christians, those who march to their own drummer–and there have been many–fascinate me. Maybe because I are one. I have written a review for Young’s Cross Roads book here and quote from the book here. I wanted to meet him for several reasons.

  • We are the same age (!).
  • He is brave, courageous, willing to write what’s in his heart.
  • He is an overcomer with the scars to prove it.
  • We both love Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
  • He thinks for himself.
  • He cares about the hurting person.
  • He is a top-notch storyteller.

Those who know me well know that I have some of these same qualities. It is my belief that The Shack is one of those books that God propelled forward because of its message of hope, healing, and love. In the way Young weaved the story, I sensed God using its words to reach down to the wounded person–lost and alone, without hope and understanding–as a touchstone to meet and speak truth in love. It shows how God’s life connects with human life as an antidote to pain and suffering. A person who’s been there, been wounded deeply, is more likely to understand the message he imparts. Through his message, Young exposes the tangled thinking that comes with the pain of what seems, or is, unjust and a person’s bent toward self-justifying and self-focus.

The Jesus Center in Chico, California, invited Wm. Paul Young as its luncheon fundraiser speaker. As a supporter, I was emailed months before the event. I began to pray that I would get to have a few words with W. P. Young at the event and without interruption. What’s the chance of that? He spoke before the meal was served. He made a few jokes and then moved on into the subject of love and shared how The Shack has reached the incarcerated and has ministered to their spiritual needs, and helped them take personal inventory (like we all need to do).. “Papa,” Father God, often comes up. “Does Papa really love me?” he is asked. “Yes, he does love you,” he responds along with a hug — as tears flow — and another heart mends as love is received.

My favorite moment of the talk was when he said the following. He is asked, “If he could go back and do it over again, would he?” “Yes,” he says, “I would. I would undo all the hurt I’ve caused.” It was a statement about himself and the pain he had caused; it was not about others or the pain they had caused him. He said it softly, consideringly, truthfully. I will remember it because of its depth of meaning to me in my spiritual walk.

Afterwards, a line formed of people wanting to have their books signed by him. I hadn’t thought to bring one of my books but thought to myself, it’s now or never. Finally, it was my turn. So I said, “No book!” as I approached him, and he grinned. I shared my appreciation of him, his ministry and message, and then told him I had viewed a discussion between him and Richard Rohr. Briefly we spoke about it, and he told me they did a series together about the Trinity.

Young’s eyes were kind, bright, intelligent, happy, and sincere. I could have talked with him for hours because he appears to speak without pretense. I sensed he would understand some of my journey, which cares more about what God thinks than people’s opinions. Just saying.

I wanted to ask W. P. Young a couple questions about how he came to be his own person, how he came to see God as a loving God, how he found his own voice, but that didn’t happen. I had no opportunity. I am on a similar journey and thought he could shed light on some of it. He is routinely criticized and I, too, was criticized by some for attending this event. I think he accepts it as part of being faithful to his calling. In Wm. Paul Young I see a person who loves God and is willing to take the heat for love of others.

I am glad I got to meet Wm. Paul Young. Maybe at a later date I will get to have that conversation. I know we won’t agree on everything or have a seamless theology, but we will agree on the message of what it is all about, the love of God for all the people of the world, grace, and freedom. I am glad he is sharing hope with a world that has so little of it.

Next Post will be about a new devotional for the whole family written by a first time author.