Category Archives: Contemplation, Devotional, Inspirational, Meditation, Prayer, Spirituality

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My thoughts on “Thoughts and Prayers”

I opened my arms and she clung to me in one of those heart-hugs, where you need each other and you just hold each other. Though she was not outwardly sobbing, tears were in her eyes. I could feel her pain deep inside. I held her a couple, three minutes, and then she haltingly spoke of her sadness. That is what thoughts and prayers are about, connecting at the heart and sharing the heartache.

I was in church on a rather difficult day. Many in our church family were stunned because of a recent cancer diagnoses of a dear senior saint, one of the pillars in our church. I was trying to process this unwelcome news. She has two sisters that attend our church, one is on the quiet side, and the other is more outgoing. They’ve sung as a trio with a fourth sister accompanying at the piano. I’ve known the quiet one most of my life. She lost a son and a sister in recent years and is still grieving their loss. After the service I went over to her and spoke of my concern and care. Then we hugged as I comforted her.

‘I’m praying for you,’ ‘Thoughts and prayers,’ ‘Love and prayers’ are concluding statements that roll off the tip of the tongue, that we use to close out a Get Well card or more often than not end a Facebook post in response to a person’s troubles or loss.

‘Thoughts and prayers’ speak to the need. They say the message the writer wishes to convey to a friend or colleague going through a rough patch. When a friend infers they’re praying for you, it is often perceived as ‘I’m standing with you in this. I know this matters, and I am praying with you and for you.’

Yes, words like these bring comfort to the afflicted and light to the journey. People need each others’ comfort and encouragement. Dark days in the daily or on the horizon come to all people. How others respond to the crisis, with love and prayers or other, makes a difference and may determine whether the person feels alone or uplifted by those who know their troubles.

The phrase ‘Thoughts and prayers’ has received some criticism as of late. People carry signs that say “Thoughts and prayers are not enough.” Some see the phrase as shallow, disingenuous, out of touch, or as something that simply doesn’t work or move people to do the right thing.

Is this criticism justified? Are ‘thoughts and prayers’ at fault and not effective? I don’t think so, because of the way they are being implicated. I believe they can be, will be, and are effective when prayed with godly fervor by godly people who trust in God.

Certainly, thoughts and prayers should include hearts of prayer and spiritual acts of kindness. The phrase is meant as an encouragement, a way of saying, I’m hanging in there with you. For many, it’s not just a phrase, they do pray, and their prayers do make a difference. How much difference, only God knows. I do know we derive comfort and blessings when they are received.

People reach out to each other in a way their community accepts and believes. In the Christian – religious community these kinds of phrases communicate the personal element in relationship to the God element, invoking the Divine Presence to help with their human area of need.

“Thinking of you” is a secular form of addressing and acknowledging a loss or struggle. An acquaintance of mine lost her dear husband. After his passing, her thread on FaceBook, with several  dozens of friends giving words of sympathy, had no mention of God nor any “Thoughts and Prayers,” and not one spiritual sentiment. I read through the many comments and felt a corresponding emptiness at the absence of the spiritual dimension of godly comfort.

People’s vulnerability or self-stuff may stave off others’ efforts to walk along side, especially during times of suffering and difficulty. Private or public, people deal with their crises in their own way. Some may be welcoming where others may be retreating. Unless the person is close to the other person, it would seem that less is more; but to not acknowledge the loss, to do ‘nothing,’ is hurtful. Although it is not always possible to know what is welcome or not.

We have to be careful. With tears in her voice, one young widowed woman told me how she threw away the last of the bereavement cards without ever opening them because they were reminders of her loss, her husband’s passing. She couldn’t bear her loss and the cards brought pain to her. That may seem extreme, but we all grieve differently. People react to difficult circumstances in their own way. We should be sensitive to this.

Prayer, genuine prayer, is not dependent on the other person, their reactions, beliefs or biases. We can always pray. A person of prayer may pray blessings and comfort on those who are going through it without a word being spoken or written. Our attitude can convey the same message, ‘I care about you, and I want to be there for you.’

A godly person desires God’s best for the individual and asks for his help on their behalf. For example, monks in a monastery pray for the world, which is something they do on a daily basis. Their prayers impact the world though most are ignorant of this fact. Monks live lives separated from the world, but they are engaged in praying for people, places, and nations. This is a great gift and blessing to the outside world.

Prayer is an opportunity to involve the holy in natural functions. Prayer begins with a spiritual thought that welcomes God into the conversation. Praises and thanksgiving join as thoughts lift to the heavens. Thoughts and prayers are not empty words. They are full of goodness and graciousness because prayer is active. True thoughts and prayers are invoking God to enact a blessing. I think that’s pretty special.

God’s presence is made manifest while his being is acknowledged and worshiped. Words of solicitation are prayed to God because of belief in his goodness and his promises. Nothing is wasted in God’s economy. Prayerful interactions with the Divine are for spiritual betterment and godly intervening. The words are sincere and active, not commonplace without intent.

Thoughts and Prayers,

Prayer begins with a spiritual thought that welcomes God into the conversation.
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To God be the Glory.

Pray without ceasing.

Nothing is wasted in God's economy.
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The Need to be Kind

The importance of being kind cannot be understated.  If everyone would put a kindness factor in place, to be kind to others regardless of how we feel about them, it would change the world. Kindness is a respectful attitude that takes the time to be patient with others even when they irritate us or may not deserve it.

I reckon there are three things in life that are important.

The first is to be kind.

The second is to be kind.

The third is to be kind.

 (Leanin’ Tree)

Really?

The class that year was a combination 2nd-3rd split. The students were a mix of low achievers, misbehavers, children at risk, a few too shy to respond at all, immature children and so forth. The class was formed a month in. With human nature and all that, I got dumped on by the other teachers or so it seemed.

I knew the goal. I was determined to bring my class up to speed and to make it sing. The students’ struggles, day in and day out, challenged my best efforts. The classroom dynamics made it difficult to meet my educational objectives. With great intention, I instituted several ‘extras’ to help us bond as a group.

The hyperactive student learned to self-monitor his behavior. He would move himself to a special desk next to my desk whenever he was distracted or was the one causing distraction. He became efficient at this without me intervening. He’d smile at me and I’d smile back when it was time for him to re-situate himself. He liked monitoring his own behavior, and its calming effects.

The students needed a sense of being a part of a whole. Acts of kindness were written on slips of paper anonymously and put in a slotted box to be read on Fridays by me. I made sure I participated. Students were asking teachers and aides if they could help them. The playground never looked better. They kept it litter free. They loved this.

I wanted my students to feel appreciated and good about themselves. They saw themselves as losers. To accomplish this, we would have to get to know each other better. Every morning after the flag salute, one student in our class was featured in the spotlight. They were given an uninterrupted opportunity to talk about their likes, dislikes, and interests in front of the class, one per day. No one was allowed to snicker or be rude. Shy children were encouraged through prompts from me. This was done every day throughout the school year.

When one boy lost his black puppy, we as a class were concerned. He had showed up at school crying, standing by the door waiting for me to arrive. I ushered him inside and the children waited. It’d been a hard year for him, his father had separated from the family, and his mom was a mess. I prayed that night that the puppy would be found. I knew he needed his puppy. The next morning he was all smiles. Yes, the puppy had been found. I sent a prayer up to God, “Thanks, God. He needed his puppy.”

On Valentine’s Day we stepped it up. I wanted the class to appreciate the adults who served them. We should always thank people who help us. Our class made thank you cards for every support person who worked on campus: Crossing guard, the cook and cafeteria workers, yard duty personnel, instructional aides, office personnel, maintenance personnel, bus drivers, computer technician.

I taught the children proper etiquette; then they practiced together, student with student. The children learned how to introduce themselves to their card’s recipient, how to look them in the eye, shake their hand or give them a hug, after they read the card out loud and hand delivered it to its recipient. I sent them out two-by-two to deliver the cards.

The staff loved it, and the children? There was so much positive energy and happiness in the room after the cards were personally delivered that the children glowed.By making others feel special, they felt special.

By the year’s end we as a class had grown into a community of caring individuals. The most out-going child encouraged the most reserved child. The former home-schooled child was cheered when his artwork was appreciated. The children became proud of each other’s successes. Their energy dial now pointed to the positive.

Kindness works that way. Kindness is universal, has no political party, encourages positive social interactions, and is other-centered. The act of being kind begins in the heart, is activated by the mind, is cultivated by the Spirit, and is instituted by the action.

A pure heart will extend grace to others because it wants to and knows it is the right thing to do. In the Beatitudes, Jesus says it well, “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.” Matthew 5:8 ESV

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32 ESV

A good way to live out faith is in the little things, the everyday kindnesses. “Faith without works is dead,” Scripture says. Faith gives out of its ‘living’ generosity and its valuing of all life. Spiritual goodness is such that positive works become part of its process and flow.

‘Be kind’ is a motto to live by. I highly recommend it.

The rest of the story:

A few years later, the young man who had lost his puppy, now at 6’2″,  happened to cross my path. He greeted me with a huge grin and asked me how I was doing. He said he remembered being my student and some of the activities we had done in class. His smile and greeting made me smile. He remembered the “extras” and it was worth it.

Be kind.

The act of being kind begins in the heart, is activated by the mind, is cultivated by the Spirit, and is instituted by the action.
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