EVERY SO OFTEN I read something that jumps out at me. I’ll ponder it. Apply its meaning if it fits. Write it down. That happened recently when I read this tweet on Twitter. I totally agreed with her.

The woman said this.

I just read this quote and it was too good not to share,

“If you never heal from what hurt you, you’ll bleed on people who didn’t cut you.”

I did this for most of my adult life. I thought I was being strong by stuffing all the pain from my abuse down inside,but I was wrong.

I responded with this statement.

But you didn’t know it, I presume. I agree with the quote. From my own experience I can say, I had to see what was in me before I could see the need to change, repair, heal, and be made anew. What a joy when that happens.

She then says,

Yes! I thought being strong and not talking about the abuse I suffered was a badge of courage and strength, but the damage was seeping out into all areas of my life. I had to see that to get healed.

If we don’t deal with our stuff it has a way of dealing with us.

A person can live in denial their whole life but it will spill over into their relationships. Shame and pain affect a person emotionally. They may not think so but those on the outside looking in can see it. Hidden areas of pain can bleed out in sharp, edgy, angry spurts. It can contribute to bouts of depression and moodiness. It can cause self-loathing, self-punishing behaviors as the anger turns inward. It can influence in many ways, which include addictions, abusive behaviors, OCD traits, food issues, or–trying to be the perfect person–almost anything that tries to satisfy that constant irritation in you.

I’m not a psychologist and am not qualified to professionally speak to this issue, but I do know this much. Anything we expose ourselves to or do that is harmful to us or others stays in our subconscious. It parks there until we choose to do something about it. We can bury it. On the flip side. You may not have done anything at all but were done to. Someone did something, said something, forced something that injured you and caused a reaction in you. Both are damaging.

If I were to ask you to name one thing that hurt you, I bet it wouldn’t take long for a memory to surface. You might even tear up. The pain is remembered. We are affected spiritually, emotionally, mentally, psychologically, physically, relationally by such things. The effects are a living entity in us. If I were to ask you to name one thing you did that hurt someone, that injured them emotionally, a different kind of memory would surface. This one quite likely would bring regret and pain. Neither one are pleasant, and both can be spiritual issues that need addressing.

The good news? You don’t have to stay that way. You can do something about it.

There are counselors, therapists of all kinds, and friends and family who can walk through your issues with you. They can be invaluable human resources. They help you peal the layers to get at the heart of the matter. I think it best to not overlook the spiritual dimension. Those who know Jesus have a friend who’s ready to help. He is on your side. You can tell him anything, and I mean, anything. He already knows anyway. You’re not going to surprise him.

He knows what you need. His resources are divine, supernatural. This is an added dimension to your healing. You can partner with him in this. That is where trust comes in.  From here on out it often becomes an interactive process. You’re launched into a new way of looking at your spiritual life. Get your notebook handy to keep focused as everything unfolds.

Just the thought of dealing with it sends some people into a tailspin. Panic sets in. They’re afraid they can’t handle it, worried they’ll fall apart, that it’ll be too much for them. That level of vulnerability is beyond their scope right now. I do believe one must be careful. For what it’s worth I have a suggestion, ask God to be gentle with you, to tenderly take you to what you are able handle at the moment. God honors our prayers. He knows our thoughts. He is a kind shepherd who tenderly cares for his sheep–all of them.

How does it work?

You start with a little trust. Jesus, would you help me? I need you. I can’t do this without you.

Your trust grows. The more it grows, the more you can trust him. I see where you’re helping me. Thank you, Jesus.

You begin to give Jesus the stuff that’s not so nice, that you struggle with. Jesus, I need to do better, would you show me how?

The trust becomes stronger, strong enough that you ask him to help with the the harder stuff. Father, please, would you cleanse me and heal me. You know I’ve been carrying this baggage too long. You’re opening up.

Now you know you can trust him with the more troubling stuff. You’re willing to be vulnerable, transparent, and honest. Father God, you know what hurts me. You know where I was wrong (or wronged, etc.).  I give it to you. Remove its hold on me. Heal my heart.

You begin to lighten up inside. Your confidence is growing. The dullness is lifting. Something in you is changing.

You thank, praise, celebrate, and rejoice in God. Father, thank you for meeting my needs and helping me deal with my stuff.

What does God do?

He shows you what is in your heart. We can be blind to our thoughts, words, and actions.

He shows you what you need to do to change, through scripture, thoughts, resources, other believers, self-assessing, etc.

He responds to your level of intention. The more you want, the more he gives. The more you let go, the more he guides.

He gives you insights when you’re paying attention. The Word becomes compelling and meaningful. He brings people into your life that you need. Things are happening.

Father, Son, and Spirit impact you. They work together to initiate change in every area of your life.

He gives you courage, strength, hope, joy, kindness, goodness, love. Everything in you responds to the Teacher’s touch.

Your life begins to make more sense. Understanding is growing as your relationship with God is maturing.

Once you get this far into it you are transforming into a different sort of person (more spirit-centered, less flesh-centered). People are beginning to notice you’re changing. You are happier, more attractive (it works that way), less self-centered, more other-focused, more to see needs you can respond to, less to criticize and make demands. The healthier you are in your soul, the more it plays out in a positive way.

Change like this takes time, willingness, and prayer. Lots of prayer.

This is a jumping off point. You in the game? Read the paragraph before this one. It is a measurement that indicates if spiritual life is alive. The love of Jesus motivates us. What we are given we cannot keep. Give and it will be given you. It’s a continuous cycle, never ending. God’s love compels us to go forth and be love to others. The healthier we are the more able we are to give and receive.

May this be the first day of the rest of your life.