Category Archives: Life Journey

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#20 Openness

Openness is two way. We are willing to give and receive. We are willing to act on what we receive.

The woman’s hope was in flight. Depression squeezed her ability to function. Troubles on the home field felt that they were causing layers of upheaval. Custody battles were becoming large. Despair and hopelessness swirled around her. Thoughts from her past were opening afresh–this, and wounds still bleeding from throughout the years had passed but not completely. Thoughts of suicide ran circles in her mind. Fears for herself led her to admit herself into a facility for those who are suicidal.

That is when I got the call from her friend asking me to pray. This woman was in a group of women I was teaching. I then asked two others from the group to pray for her–but I gave no reason other than it was important.

While in her room in the facility, when she was alone, the desperate feelings had not left but were slowly dissipating. With her, she had only one book. It was the Bible. Her hunger for God’s help caused her to look at it. In time she laid it all out before him. She implored him. She gave him her hopelessness, her desperation for his help.

And then it happened. God let her know that her heard her plea. He surrounded her with his love and caused her to look to him. Comfort enveloped her. It was a rare appointment away from all other things.

Little will change in our spiritual walks until we get serious with God. However, there is a caveat. We tend to draw a conclusion that serious with God means the outward routines of going to church, not speaking in anger, and following the ten commandments, which are good things of course. But praying and devotional life plus good living and church attendance are the formula that many good, righteous, spiritual persons follow and are comfortably pleased with as enough. But is that right?

Her soul injuries. Her choices. Her hopelessness, her desperation for his help were needed big time. It gets the job done and can produce some amazing results. But there is one big, huge, missing chunk in this formula. It says you can have a good, clean lack of vitality and life. It is wrong since it falls short. There is an energy in close relationship with God. They will exhibit transformation as their life softens and deepens because of the presence of God in them. Having an open flow of communication and a fellowship within them is key to this full life.

How does this work, you may ask. There is one essential ingredient that is a necessary requirement–that is in addition to the other qualities i.e. repentance, surrender, and commitment–a person must become open with God. They share every aspect of their life. Similar to the human marital relationship, a failure to be transparent and open with a mate will lead to disunity or a weak joining with God. We will give less than our best.

You can have spirituality without a deepening relationship with God. The truth is, you can have a spiritual good, clean positive Christian experience but it will lack vitality and life. There is an energy that is released in the person who walks in close relationship with God. They exhibit transformation as their life softens and deepens because of the presence of God in them.

How does this work, you may ask. There is one essential ingredient that is a necessary requirement–that is in surrender and commitment. A person must become open with God about every aspect of their life. Similar to the human marital relationship, a failure to be transparent and open with a mate will lead to disunity or a weak joining. We will give less than our best. This causes an insincerity of purpose on our end. God works with what we give him. The more open we are with the good, the more he can demonstrate his love to us. Frankly, it takes effort, openness and honesty.

God is a good father. You do not need to be afraid or concerned that your openness will be met with condemnation or hostility. God will respect your admissions and honor your rightness. He will forgive your trespasses and sins, and he will value your weaknesses you bring willingly to his attention. God is in the healing and restoring business. He work is with what we give him and allow Him to touch and change.

. . .

My friend, what are you holding back from God? What is it that you are afraid to release? God desires to help you. It is not true that God helps those who help themselves. This is because those who seek him will find him. Then rest in Him. You have a wonderful opportunity ahead of you. All your pain and dissatisfaction with your life is not what you have to overcome, for it is part of living in a fallen world. But what can be overcome is your bent to self-destruction or self-righteousness. God has a plan for you–and it is a good plan.

Action–Ask God where you are not open or transparent with him. Listen for his answer. He will reveal it in some way. Acknowledge this to him. Seek Him for answers. He may use Godly people or his Word to direct you. Submit it to God’s loving intention. Repeat the process. Continue to periodically open your life to God. You won’t be sorry.

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When Your Needs Are Unmet

God Comes In. . .

It breaks my heart when a person unloads a bushel of injustices and pain-filled experiences on me, and then sobs as she says, “I just want to be loved.” I remember feeling that way. I was the one thinking I just want to be loved. In my case it wasn’t really true. It just felt that way.

Don’t we all just want to be loved?

He was only a boy but all he knew from his parents was pain and rejection. Even worse, they were cruel to him. Their participation in Satanic ritual colored their treatment of him. He was packing heat at an early age to protect himself from his parents. He knew little kindness as a child.

How do you make sense of something like that?

I became his friend in a roundabout way. We both participated in a writing community. I came to admire and respect him in a phenomenal way. His breadth of knowledge was unsurpassed by any in the group. He has a quick mind. He has risen above the circumstances of his life. He is rough around the edges and tough in many respects. Yet he has learned to love. He makes it his mission to encourage people. God has helped him overcome.

One day he shared with me the horribleness of his childhood. He had not the benefit of nurture or love. It is not surprising that he loves dogs that have been abandoned and provides a home for many of them. The dogs are left in the high desert sands to die. He rescues them and gives them safe haven. Some have been wounded and abused. He loves them all.

No one should be or feel unwanted.

But they do. We do too, at times. Unfortunately, some have known such a life. Their needs went unmet. Their persona has been partially shaped by put-downs and sarcasm. Their self-worth as a human is shaky.

As you read this your heart may be beating fast. You may have a headache that won’t go away, and your thoughts are taking you down a rabbit trail to an event(s) in your past. Maybe you were embarrassed, humiliated or were mistreated. You know you have unmet needs and unhealed hurts. You push their memory into your secret archive of past injustices.

Invasion of a soul is not a pretty thing.

You know, it takes courage to overcome devastation. It takes bravery to face the pain of your past. You have to persevere, and it’s a hard thing to do. You know there is love in this world. You are given the task of finding it. But it’s so hard and possibly you don’t know how to love purely, without self-centeredness causing problems.

All of us have unmet needs. Some needs are more severe than other ones. If you tend to be negative in your thoughts, this indicates that there is something that needs addressing (I know about this!). Unmet needs signify that there’s a lack within you, like a hole that needs filling.

That hole is in your soul. You’re going to need some help to heal.

Your past is impacted by the present. God is a gracious God. He is willing and able to show you your need and then give you the tools to mend and repair your soul. Let God in. Let the bad stuff go. Allow God to heal what needs healing. It can happen. You can become healthy and whole. It’s a process of many steps (and you may need some help).

Never lose sight of God’s willingness to help you. You may come to your darkest hour but “God is on the bathroom floor” (Nightbirde). He meets you there.

      • God loves you.
      • He promises to help you.
      • Call out to Him.

Come to Jesus.

Write down your needs that weren’t and aren’t being met. Ask God to repair your emotional injuries. Ask Him to show you what you need to become a whole and an emotionally healthy individual. Seek answers, spiritual answers to your person-specific problems.

Overcoming takes time. This journey takes a sifting through your past with an eye to the future. Imagine Jesus walking with you as you face whatever that holds you back.

I have found that the more that I heal, the more free I become. It’s like the monkey is off my back. It allows space to free up what was walled off by my damaged emotions.

This is a continuous journey. Persevere through. Keep learning, listening, and waiting. God is not finished with you yet.

We are in this together.

I have learned that you don’t have to live life with a dead spot in your soul. Have you noticed how hurting people often hurt others. What’s deep inside comes out in our closest relationships. Do it for others if not for yourself. Holding onto grievances is in this camp, too. Harbored resentment and bitterness deadens us inside. Let them go. They aren’t healthy for your soul.

The good news is that we don’t have to battle it alone. You can’t do it in your own strength anyway. God is only a prayer away. He sees the intentions of our hearts. He picks us up when we stumble. He applauds our effort. He surrounds us with His love, even when we don’t feel it.

I’m so glad there’s hope. I’m so glad God saves and redeems. I’m so thankful I don’t have to do it in my own strength. I’m grateful Jesus is walking with me. I praise Him for His abundant mercies that are never exhausted.

Embrace your spiritual journey.