Category Archives: Christian Life

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You Must Separate Your Thoughts from Your Feelings

God loves you and wants to free you from the chains that entangle your soul. It may be that all you do is worship God and stand in amazement before Him, praising Him and singing your gratitude. That, alone, will enrich your soul big time.

But sometimes, it is not so easy to go deep with God

There are times when you may be feeling down and discouraged, unable to even utter a peep. You have not the energy. Maybe you are grieving a loss. You may not speak one word. You don’t have to say anything. You are not alone, you just feel alone. But you still will want to reach out to God and rest in His presence.

You sit there in the silence.

You are unable to remove the cloak of darkness you are wearing. The sad emotion hovers and fails to break free or dissipate. You remain sitting, but you absorb. God is there with you. His presence is comforting. The Holy Spirit ministers to you and there are whispers of refreshment. God ministers to you in your brokenness.

A week ago that happened to me.

I sat alone in a small, knotty-pine and cinder block, monastery chapel. My heart was heavy with concern and emotion. For one whole hour I prayed and contemplated and wrote but was unable to commune with God as much as I wished. My mind felt blank. I chose to speak words of praise and then I sat quietly in the stillness. Comfort gathered me in her embrace and I felt the peace of God wrap around me like a soft, flannel blanket. I went away glad that I had been there.

Despair remained and would not lift.

One day later I tried again to lift the veil and receive from God. I spent over an hour in my church’s sanctuary, praying and meditating for the same concern and praying for people in my local church assembly.

This time the words flowed.

My words of praise lifted to God. Every moment had a sense of God being fully present with me. My prayers were alive and totally focused.

What was the difference this time?

I don’t know except that I was pushing it through until I received relief and knew God’s presence in a real and comforting way.

I was seeking God’s truth until I could access it.

I cannot leave myself in limbo when it comes to spiritual matters, too much is at stake. Even though I have been at this many years, there are still times when I stumble and get it all wrong. We are emotional creatures. None of this surprises God. He holds our hand and guides us through the difficulty.

Our reactions can be all over the place.

When it comes to personal, interpersonal, and spiritual concerns, our emotional side and our intellectual side do not always see the situation the same. We want to latch onto the emotions, when we really should think through the situation by asking ourselves what is true, and what is the best possible solution. Separating our thoughts  from our feelings must be carefully managed. Each needs to be put in its proper place. What we know to be true is not always what we feel is true. Does this make sense?

Feelings must not drive the conversation.

Feelings are not wrong. We should never discount someone’s feelings, not even our own. However, sometimes feelings lie to us or distort the truth. When we take time to sort through our thoughts and look at them objectively, it will help us find a proper solution. I often ask God to show me what is true, because I can’t always discern what is true in a specific situation.

This is a mental exercise a person must equip themselves to do.

There are problems to work through that always benefit from an ability to sort and place the issues into the appropriate categories, thought and feeling. Feelings can hijack the appropriate action and cause us to react, which drives an emotionally heightened action.

Most of us have experienced this at one time or another.

Maybe we’ve written something we shouldn’t have, or spoken something we wish we could take back i.e. I wish I could eat my words! By thinking what is true in the situation, there will be greater clarity even in spiritually related topics and situations.

Much in life is a thinking game.

By thinking what is true in the situation, there will be clarity even in spiritually related topics and situations. For example, when we think it through and separate thought out from our feelings, we can then identify when a slight from someone else was not a rejection of us but was motivated by the other person’s own self-issues flaring up. We may feel betrayed when they meant nothing of the sort. The other person may have been defensive, argumentative, and aggressive or they may have been expressing the view from their own perspective and we took offense to it. This is why it is helpful to figure it out.

Feelings say it is all about you.

Truth tells you what is or what is not the true. You have to sort the truth out. Is it about opinion or is it more about them, or your differences of opinion? What am I really looking at? What is this?

What do I need to know?

I knew all that at the time, but it wasn’t helping much because the situation was complicated and involved. As I thought it through, with God’s help, I could see where I needed to change my attitude in particular areas. My feelings were dictating my reactions, consequently, they were imploding my sense of spiritual well-being. Even though I had tried, I could not completely let the thing go.

I went to God because He knows what I don’t know.

God knows what is best. He knows how to help us see what we need to see. I did not like the distance the problem had created in my spiritual life and with those who trust me as a spiritual leader and friend. I didn’t know what to do, and I , in honesty, told this to God. It is always best to be honest with God even when it makes you look bad. I’m convinced of that.

Yet God is helping me with this process.

I was leaning into Him. When something is wrong, you can’t just ignore it and pretend that it doesn’t exist. You must deal with yourself first, and then worry about others. (Parents, heed this) God directs our thoughts in a way that we can process spiritually and internally.

God’s Word speaks, and we draw upon it.

He uses godly people to speak truth to us.  God’s meeting me in the sanctuary is perfect proof that He is part of the solution. My time in the chapel cleared the way, opened the door. The communing with God came the next day in the church’s sanctuary.

What joy this brings to me.

Having a time of meditation is not a slam dunk. There are always deep-seated aspects to pause and consider. In the quietness I am able to slow down. I seek God and He meets me there. I praise Him and thank Him.

Get your praise on!

Seek God’s face. Know God’s love. Embrace God’s grace.

 

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It Was A God Thing: When Real Life Happens

“It was a God thing.” That phrase rolls off the tongue in a hurry like it was meant to be. But, really, sometimes it is a God thing. I love it when that happens. Shall I share with you three ones that recently happened to me? I think so. Hopefully they will encourage you. God is at work in both the big and little things in our daily lives.

My Recent Encounters with a “God Thing”

God Thing 1:  I’m with my Dad at the doctor’s office a few days ago. I met him there and it is a routine visit. We are both sitting in the lobby. I’m busy asking him questions when his voice hushes. “I don’t know where my car key is.” Dad is patting his pockets and truly mystified. I offer to go check by the car. The doctor’s office is a fair distance from the entry doors. I look around and then I spy the key. It’s in the car on the floor. The car is unlocked. I grab the key and then head back in.

I see a problem ahead.

As I am walking, I notice a frail elderly couple going toward the office. He can’t quite make it or go any further because he is unsteady on his feet. She is upset with him and frazzled because he isn’t using his walker and left it in the car. She is trying to help him, but it is a tough go. They’ve made it to a bench by the exterior wall but it’s obvious they’re stuck. I hurry inside and tell one of the receptionists that an elderly couple is outside and he’s having difficulty. I ask her to take a wheelchair out for him, which she promptly does. When my father is done, I notice the elderly gentleman in a wheelchair in the lobby.  I immediately feel grateful that I was at the right place at the right time. I wonder how long they would have been stuck if I hadn’t come along. I thank God that Dad misplaced the key so I would go outside to retrieve it, in order to help this couple. I tear up when I think of it; the couple seemed so helpless.

God Thing  2:  My plate is full. I’m overwhelmed. Plus I’ve been a bit down because of four emotion-tugging areas in my life, all are important to me: church, finances, parents, and writing. Church stuff is always sticky. This one has been unusual and I’ve been trying to get through it without sinning or becoming resentful. People have been calling me almost every night, and some days I’ve had as many as three calls (not just church-related, some with women I’m speaking life to). My voice is hoarse from talking. Some calls last over two hours. People are upset and I am feeling the burden of that.

Their burden becomes my burden.

Mother had a worrisome health issue that landed her in the hospital over the holidays. The concerns for my parents are ongoing. It’s that way as your folks age and troubles come frequently. And there’s the practical side of things. The income I was counting on to carry me through most of this year failed to materialize when the walnut orchard I farm had a double whammy; it had crop damage and walnut prices were low. The crop tanked, which means a lot in my world. It didn’t cover the expenses incurred while raising the crop. I’m having to look for work now.

Then the writing.

With all the cross-currents and darkness, it has been hard to move forward to finish the books I have been writing. They’re waiting on stand-by, not going anywhere fast. It is like I am operating in a fog. My desire to podcast seems remote. On top of this, I have stepped up to the plate at church because it is in a time of transition and there are needs. I am teaching children in two areas and leading the women. Well, because of all this, I have been struggling. It is hard to be yourself when the burdens stack up.

Where does God come in?

My good friend and I had a Women’s Ministry breakfast to put on and a meeting to lead. We were both cooking for the event and I would be presenting our Women’s Ministry outlook for the year to a new group of women. Two days before the event, my friend offers to purchase all the ingredients for the breakfast and to cook the casseroles and sides at the church. Whew! I was planning to get up at 4:30 to cook at home and get my part done. I was praising God because a prayer had been answered that I hadn’t even prayed. I was soooo grateful for her help.  We cooked together at the church and I only prepared one easy dish at home. My co-leader is such a good friend to me. God saw my overwhelmed spirit and He nudged her to help me. Isn’t that just like God? By the way, I am doing much better this week. While talking with my oldest son, who is in Japan  right now, I felt the depressed emotions lift. My head is clear now and my spirit is happy. That probably was a God thing, too.

God Thing 3:  It was toward the end of October in 2016, just recently. I was looking at the figures for the first two crop payments from the two varieties of walnuts in the orchard I farm. I was in shock. Combined, they were less than you can imagine. Neither was enough to cover the sprays, let alone the other expenses that occur in raising a crop—that I had paid with the prior year’s earnings. Truly, I couldn’t believe it. I’d not yet received the invoice for drying and hulling the walnuts nor had I received the invoice for harvesting the nuts. I’d been worrying about paying those bills–sometimes waking up in the middle of the night with the worry in the forefront–whether there would be enough income, because the crop was light and the prices were down.

Not a good combination.

I wasn’t expecting there to be so much off-grade in their quality. We had done all the right things and were timely in doing them. It wasn’t the farming practices. It wasn’t neglect. I had already used up the funds set aside to get the job done. As in past years, I counted on the fall income to carry the harvest expenses. I wasn’t expecting to make piddly on the crop. It had come to the point that I knew something needed to happen soon or I would have to use a good portion of money tied up in investments. My prayer that day was sincere (and a little bit desperate). I told God it didn’t look good, that something needed to happen or there was not going to be enough income to cover the expenses that were coming.

I asked God to provide for the need.

I said that if He wanted me to use the investment money, I would do what He wanted me to do. (Yes, I talk frankly with God. He is my trusted friend). I didn’t want to use that money, though, because I have some big expenses coming up on my home property that need doing relatively soon (tree removal and hooking up to the city sewer). There was this peace and calm that attended me as I prayed, although I did feel emotional. A week later one of my siblings sent me a check for a large amount. I had quietly given money a couple of times to this sibling and family during their hard times and now they were returning the favor. I couldn’t believe it, and I didn’t want to accept it. In fact, I called them up and said I didn’t think I could. But it was gift, not to be returned. They had had years of trying to make ends meet ever since the 2008 recession had affected their business. Tears, lots of tears.I knew it was a gift of love.

My heart was touched.

It was just enough to pay a property tax bill and for the drying and hulling of the walnuts. Next we come to the last week in December. It was time to pay that other large bill, to the exact amount. I waited as long as I could. On that day, I was going to the financial institution to cash in investment money to cover the cost when I got a text telling me to hold up. My parents, who I lease from, decided to cover the expense to help share in the burden caused by the loss. They said it was the right thing to do. Again, I was grateful and wished it hadn’t been necessary. I’m still overwhelmed by their helpfulness. I never asked them to help me. I asked God instead. You see, God cares, and people care. God moves us to do the right thing even when we may not realize it is Him.

Closing thoughts.

It’s interesting how we really don’t know what is going on in other people’s lives. This has been a very personal and open blog for me. I usually talk in generalities on purpose, to protect others and those in my family. This time I saw it differently. My burdens are real to me and they impact me. I’m not superwoman. Even though I love God and live to serve Him, I struggle with life and struggle with the human factor. I get sidetracked and get walloped by incidents I didn’t see coming.

When life happens, God happens.

He is there somewhere in the mix. You have to look for Him or you’ll chalk it up to ordinary incidentals. Don’t do that. Look for where God is at work . . . and then celebrate His goodness. God loves it when we thank Him.

Bless you.

What is your “God Thing” story?