Impressions Come with the Territory
Our impressions of people, places, and things are constantly dictating to us. We make assessments based on our impressions. However, our impressions may change as our knowledge base increases. We learn more and have more experiences that alter or confirm these impressions.
First impressions happen when we categorize people or things. Not purposely, however. We meet someone. Without giving it much thought, we are making a mental note about how they look, talk, present themselves, whether they’re positive or negative, and so forth. We also notice things like their character traits, such as arrogant, humble, kind, assertive, shy, angry etc.
Impressions are neither good nor bad
Lasting impressions are the way we feel about them after the encounter is over. Maybe we took a dislike to them or felt a fondness for them. Often, we feel one way or the other. They tend to make a favorable (good) impression or unfavorable (bad) impression.
“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
This famous quote is attributed to both Maya Angelou and Eleanor Roosevelt. But its a good one and often rings true. Good impressions leave us feeling good toward the other person and hoping to spend more time with them.
Do they really care?
And there are second-hand impressions. These are those times when someone else has told you their impression of the person prior to you meeting them. What they said colors your view about the other person even before you meet them. If you know the other person’s biases then you can better inform your thinking. I have had the pleasant experience of having my assessment being more positive than what I was told and sadly the opposite has happened as well.
Frankly, I don’t like my tendency to judge my fellow Christians on these fly-by-night impressions. I’ve made progress in changing the way I think about people, but I still have a ways to go. It’s better if we can extend grace to others, although we don’t have to like them, but we should be kind, unless something hinders us from doing so. Sometimes, it is a great kindness to tell the truth to someone. I don’t want to encourage you being manipulated by a narcissist, which our society is cranking out a lot of these days. We must be wise, not gullible.
The Lasting Impression that Teaches
Today I saw an old church friend and we talked. I mentioned our former Pastor Larry and how his words impressed me so much that they often influence my writing (and the reason for this blog post). She then said that Pastor Larry changed a lot over the years. As he grew, we grew. As he became more loving, we became more loving. It had a trickle down effect. He not only was impressing me to become the real deal in my spiritual life, my perceptions were also changing. I was becoming more genuine in my walk as a believer. I began to see serving in a new light, but that’s another post! He left a lasting impression that has continued to guide me.
One of the joys we have at our disposal in today’s world are YouTube videos. I was listening to one that had lots of food for thought. Carey Nieuwhof (Canadian minister) was interviewing Gordon MacDonald (minister and author) about lessons he’s learned in life at 80 years old. See video here. MacDonald said that every 7 -10 years of life, he reevaluates what he’s doing. Then he asks the Lord to guide his thoughts and actions to show and direct him as to changes ahead. He was speaking about seasons in life, and we all go through them. We must adjust for these. Sometimes it requires that we change our emphasis, which may involve loss, like loss of a ministry. Even friendships go through seasons.
Your Impression
So, let’s wrap it up. Impressions do not always tell the whole truth. Impressions can be way off. They also can be right-on-the-money. We learn to be a judge of character, to discern motivations and purposes. But our impressions are only impressions, nothing more, nothing less. What matters in the long run is the impression we leave with others as far as ‘caring’ and as Christian individuals. Do they know we care or are we too busy judging? Let’s be like Jesus.
WWJD?
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I wish you well on your spiritual journey.
