Category Archives: Troubling

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Add a New Year and Then?

A Look Back

A new year is here. We look at what is ahead of us. We’re kind of excited but we’re uncertain as well. On my next birthday I will join the group of seventy-somethings. I can hardly believe it. It’s like my life has been lived in walled off sections. There were the first years, starting in Southern California, then a move to Northern California. Working on the farm. Making crafts, sewing clothes, singing in trios with my sisters, in choir, and performing in West Germany while in high school. Next I went to a private college in Oregon (many stories from those years) and graduated, My life took a turn and I married, moved and grew, became a teacher, then program specialist, and then a writer. I became a mother of five, and was divorced after twenty-one (troubling) years. The years were both fun-filled and heart-wrenching, but I worked hard to keep it all as good as I could.

Spiritually, I kept striving forward, even during the very difficult days. God was my Rock. He kept me close during the good and bad days. He held me up when I sinking and could not find a way out. I loved being a mom. I tried my hardest to be a good mom. I also tried to be a good wife, That didn’t work out so well. Most of the years we were married, my mate wanted out. I couldn’t accept his view. I didn’t believe Christians should be unfaithful and divorce. You can imagine the trouble it made. We saw the act of marriage from two different viewpoints. Of course, we kept our opinions to ourselves, which made the distress much greater when it occurred. I’m not going to say much about our marriage other than it was hard on all of us and still impacts us in curious ways today.

A Look Forward

As I look forward I realize there is much to look forward to…although it is a much quieter life. Right now I’m in Florida with four of my five adult children. I enjoy my grown-children and am more of an encourager than a participant. There are seven grandchildren.. They’re all so busy and loving life. Yesterday we went to the white sandy beach on the coast of Florida. No one could go in the surf deeper than their knees because the wind was making the waves sort of scary. Clouds in the pure blue sky were lovely. Thomas (my second son) and Titus (my oldest grandchild) were busy hunting wildflowers to take pictures of them. Some made a sandcastle, a real beaut. Then they all joined in a big circle and tossed a Frisbee back and forth. I’m so glad for the life they have, and it is a good life. My three single sons are busy with work (Josh-Montana, Thomas-Texas, and Forrest-Florida). Best of all was seeing each one of them and my daughter and her family.

When I look forward now, I can see that what I have to offer is more in the depth kind of wishes. I spend a considerable amount of time reading God’s Word. God has much to teach me, I study and am amazed. I contemplate. What does God mean when He says thus and so. There is much He wants to teach, if I will but take the time to read and listen. For God has a way of talking to us when we take the time to honor and listen to Him. About a year ago I was discouraged. I was unhappy that my life had changed because of my stroke. And the diabetes was a double stamp of trouble. I struggled. I complained a bit. I also was going through my grandparents stuff, mainly letters and paper things from both sides. There seemed to be no end in sight. I decided to read a few of the letters. I gained an understanding of the part they played in my life. Every person had a part to play, As You and I look forward to the days, weeks, months, and years ahead, we will meet obstacles, hardships, pleasant moments and joy-filled days and unforseen obstacles we haven’t encountered yet…but God knows and will keep us headed in the right direction. We may not know the right way, but He does. That brings me comfort.

But Really, Look at Today

One thing I know is that we have today. Each day God gives to us is a day of promise. He promises to be with us, to help us, to lead us, to make things clear to us, to lift us up, to carry us a long, to sustain us, to provide for us, to minister to us, to dry our tears, to keep us trudging along even when we”d rather quit, to make us into an exceptional rose with high value and a ever fervent scent, someone who is judiciously remarkable in His kingdom. We smile at someone, and they are blessed. We stand up for a right thing, and someone else is blessed. We help someone, and they are blessed by our offer. We share our faith and someone notices. We make someone smile…we pull a weed…we comb our hair, and then theirs…we make a dinner, and then share it with someone, we sweep our sidewalk and do our neighbors next…and so forth.

But most of all we can pray. It helps when you make your prayer more than the same one that you did yesterday. There are so many different things we can pray for that are way beyond our ordinary lists. The things we complain about we can turn around by praying for them. Our problems and sins will do well when we pray for them. Praise God in your prayers, which is unbelievably uplifting. Thank Him for the many, many blessings that you and others have been given. Open your heart to His voice. He will bless you abundantly. Thank Him for the multiple blessings He has brought to you and your family. Be gracious for all the various nuances He affords to you time and time again. For example, look at the sky, thank Him for the air that you breathe, the clouds and/or the rain that refreshes the earth. Just think of all the blessings you can than God for regarding your body and things like that. It amazes.

However, What Does It All Mean?

We should learn and we must learn. If all we do is sit and watch television or watch videos on our computer we are wasting the time that God has allowed us to live. We are to be productive for God. And that means more than we were before this day in time. Our circumstances change, like mine did, but we have the capacity to live completely in Him regardless of the way God is directing our path. To be honest, I thought I would have to give up this blog because of my stroke. I was willing to but I didn’t want to. I thought you wouldn’t miss it much. I wasn’t even sure you were reading it, since I rarely see comments. But then, and because of one of my faithful friends (MJB), I realized that my words encourage others.

This is it for today. God bless you. He is able.

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When There Is/Isn’t Abuse In Our Churches

Everyone In The Church Must Be Vigilant

Our churches face the difficult responsibility of keeping our programs running well in a sinful world. Now, as you know, it’s not always easy or problem free when working with people. Every so often you hear of a church with a distressing problem. Maybe it’s a staff problem or some other difficulty. There are some problems that must be addressed when or before they show their face. This article is to inform, because we simply can’t be naive about this.

It’s hard to imagine an abuser in our church. I must say that they’re there, somewhere. My children used to get a ride to youth group functions with an abuser (but we didn’t know he was one, back then). It came to light much later. His wife always rode with him. Fortunately, he never bothered them. But still… I felt sad for his wife and four kids. They were grown, but it still mattered. You just never know.

Be ready before an abuser joins your church

An abuser doesn’t announce he’s going to abuse the church kid(s). He looks for opportunities to get kids off by themselves. He uses words that seem plausible to the one he has in mind. He works the angle to get the response he wants. No one knows what he is planning to do. S/he plans a secretive approach and uses an effective way to keep the child quiet. He threatens them. They are afraid he will do the worst if they tell anybody.

I am not trying to alarm you. But we must be vigilant whenever we are doing God’s work. Our churches must be safe for all children. There are many safeguards we can put in place to protect our children. Such as: Always have two adults present with student activities. Make sure all restroom procedures are appropriate and necessary, and safe. Keep the students with you until the appropriate parent comes to get them. Have correct systems for doing club night, etc.

All of us must be vigilant

Everyone is at the church as a representative of Christ. That’s why we have Sunday school, youth group, club night, etc. The children are our guests. We are their teachers. Treat them right and fair. Be kind, be good, be cheerful, and be protective. Follow the rules and do them well. Make sure that you are a positive role model to the children. It’s up to us to keep the children safe. Think before you act. That’s a given.

We are responsible for all the children at our church. Let that sink in. I am responsible for the children at my church as well as wherever I choose to go. We are the caregivers to a world at large. We Christians have been given the task of treating the individuals in our lives with Godly grace and love. We should not be lazy or unconcerned about what goes on in our churches, establishments, and wherever we are at. I can’t state it enough… It is up to us to keep our kids safe.

Our children will thank you

A child will remember the person who shields them from harm. They may not say it, but they remember what you did for them. On the other hand, they may not realize that you are protecting them. You never know. It’s a big job but one that we’ve been given. Let’s keep our eyes and ears open. Let’s keep our kids safe. Let’s give them a safe-home at church and in the car that takes them to and from the church. Please take the time to do the job well. The children are worth it.

Some children know little of kindness and goodness. They don’t know appropriate ways to act or play. They act crazy-like instead of playing graciously. Let’s remember them. >One time in Awana, there were these three boys that lived on and off with their addicted mother. They were incorrigible so often that the church grew tired of dealing with them…and I understood. You couldn’t blame them. However, one time I gave a lesson about the work of God in a life and why that mattered. I asked the children to bow their heads and think about their lives.

God will lead when we let/ask him

I wanted God to speak to them. After they raised their heads, I asked them why God wanted them to listen. One of these boys spoke up. He said that God cared about them, that he wanted them to behave so that they could listen. Everyone was super quiet. You could have heard a pin drop. Then we gathered in a circle and prayed, with the kids saying the prayers. God spoke to the children and adults that night. The holy spirit planted a message in everyone’s heart. That truly was a special night.

I don’t know about your church, but I know this message needs to go forth. We are responsible for the children in our churches. Never forget this. Be vigilant. Be kind. Look around and absorb the message of life. Smile at the children. Help a parent when they need it. Step up to a problem when it occurs instead of after it happens. Allow yourself to be a little uncomfortable whenever it is necessary…and do something to remediate the issue. Don’t make problems but absorb, prepare, and make sure the problems are dealt with according to what is best. I love the kids and I want them to be safe. Let’s work together to make sure the children are safe in our care. Thank you.

Father, please help us to do a job well done for the kids.