Category Archives: Special Interest

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It’s So Lovely to Know You

I’m glad to know you, however that happened. I’m grateful for the smiles and laughs we shared even the hard stuff through the years. You’ve made my life better, and that’s no joke.

Every conversation mattered . . . so much.

My favorite holiday is Thanksgiving. I like being thankful. I’m thankful for so much. I’ve been blessed, abundantly blessed, and you are part of that blessing. I’m thankful for your friendship.

God brought every one of my friends to me.

Everywhere I’ve lived, I have had a true friend. This friend is someone I share specific parts of myself. I have learned to trust my friends. I used to think it was wrong to share intimate details of my life. I thought private matters should remain private. I was raised thinking that way, but I have learned there is a right time for everything. That’s wisdom.

I feel privileged when you share your heart with me.

A book I read that really helped me realize that I could and should be vulnerable with people was the book Safe People. I saw myself in that book. I was one who held back from sharing (which makes it awkward for others to share when we hold on tightly to our stories and don’t share what may be helpful–things that we have learned from or are dealing with).

Sometimes, neither of us have anything significant to say.

But that does not matter. What matters is that you are there. You show up. You care. You support me. You love me and I love you. I’ve toned down some. I realize that I can dispense unsolicited advice, as my friends know, but that isn’t always good or necessary. It’s enough to be there for one another. Loving my friends and them loving me is what is essential. Love is the thread that makes the relationship strong. Genuine acceptance is a close second.

The more we become real in our authentic relationships, the closer we can become.

The falseness, the pretending, falls off, slips away, and we know we can risk being honest and saying the truth with our closest friends. Trustworthy friends keep confidences. We also stop hiding. Once we die to our false self we then are able to repair and grow. I read where one man of God prayed every day that God would keep him authentic. He learned to rest in God’s Presence. Slowly God’s glory follows on the heels of pain as He teaches us to enter His Presence. We then become encouragement to others.

As Betty Walthour Skinner said in the book about her life, “I had compassion for them because I had suffered too, and my stony heart had been broken to allow love to enter. I was able to encourage them to use their suffering to end their suffering. . . . Our pain and our cross can and will speak to the wounded hearts of others in God’s time and in His way (The Hidden Life).”

The grapes are squeezed to gather the juice. We are trampled by circumstances before we can become broken bread and poured out wine for others. Our friendship may be a silent one for those who read my blog and don’t interact with me, but it is a friendship, nevertheless. You are beloved by myself and by our heavenly Father. It is such a rich relationship, centered in the Beloved.

God makes every day better.

. . .

I wish you well on your spiritual journey.

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Contest of Wills

He Beat Me to the Checkout Line

I am heading toward the checkout line when a man dashes in from the side, literally sprinting into position and smugly takes his place in front of me. “You win!” I thought. I didn’t expect it since he was around my age.

I filed in behind him and then waited until it was my turn. He avoided looking at me and soon became very chatty with the cashier. I laughed to myself and thought of what my mind could have said. His action was totally unnecessary–I only had four items in my cart.

This jostling for position took me back a couple weeks ago when I said to friends that bad manners in traffic don’t upset me much. They just don’t. I can’t explain it. Long ago I decided to stop letting things like that bother me. It’s kind of strange how those things don’t upset me unless I let them. It’s such a relief.

What does upset me is when I do something stupid that causes someone else to brake or swerve, which happened to me–after months of isolation–when I returned to driving. My driving skills were rusty. It was embarrassing whenever I made a mistake.

Don’t sweat the small stuff.

People are going to disappoint us, even family and friends will get our goat. It helps to let some things go and not make a big deal about them, especially things that don’t matter in the scheme of things. Our sense of fairness notices these things. But are they worth getting upset about? It’s a given, people are going to let us down. They’re even going to take advantage of us, at times. We need to stand our ground on important things–the things that matter, but the other things may or may not really matter.

Years ago I read a pamphlet by Norman Vincent Peale where he said that others will hear you better when you address conflict with dispassion. I like that. It helps to be dispassionate when dealing with emotionally-charged issues. However, that’s not easy for me to do. I kid you not. I’m emotional by nature and my emotions readily show. But when I take charge and get myself under control, it works beautifully.

What I am not saying is to bury your emotions. When we explode way out of context, though, it may mean there is some issue that is unresolved inside us. This makes me think of how we choose to either respond or react to any given situation. I learned this concept from a friend who had climbed out from under it, who was in the process of overcoming and healing from abuse received at her mother’s hand, abuse so severe that she was almost killed. She said, that, like medicine, we either respond–which is curative and brings healing, or we react–which is harmful and causes distress, to an event.

Sometimes when I am reacting to a situation it causes a temporary freezing (shutting down) of my mind. My emotions overwhelm my ability to rationalize clearly. This is something that I recently realized happens to me in the moment. These types of things rob me of my joy, encroaching on my happy-factor. It’s just not worth it to me. Learning to accept what happens is a secret that comes with age once we realize that a lot of the things that used to make us angry aren’t worth it. I guess my mind is less complicated now that it’s healthier.

Nope, I don’t like bad manners. The man rushing ahead of me was displaying his selfish nature. That’s humanity speaking, a natural tendency. But, of course, winning isn’t everything. It’s how we play the game that matters. Are we honest? Are we kind? Do we speak the truth? Are we afraid to speak the truth? Are we wasting energy on things that really don’t matter? That cause us distress? Have we lost our mo-jo?

I don’t have all the answers, but God does. I do know that God loves us. God carries us through the difficulty. He helps us on our journey. He’s invested in making us holy, pure vessels for His use. And I’m good with that. He knows what I need. My wants are less important to Him. God is gracious. I’m glad He is good.

. . .

I wish you well on your spiritual journey.