Category Archives: GENERAL INTEREST

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PERSPECTIVE INFORMS a LIFESTYLE

Serenity in Real Life: Sobriety and Peace

The Symptoms of Inner Peace

YEARS AGO my brother-in-law rehabbed a second time and never went off-the-wagon for the rest of his life. He was determined, but his sobriety was hard won at that. Not long after, my sister-in-law divorced him. Being left so abruptly was a hard pill for him to swallow. Jerry persevered. To maintain a level of peace and equilibrium as a suddenly single person dealing with heartbreak and sobriety required extra effort on his part. He knew he needed emotional support. Reading, prayer, and self-care became part of his life. He took this process seriously. That’s when he reached out to me. He knew I also was in a world of hurt.

Jerry shared what he was learning with me. The Serenity Prayer was a favorite of his. He nurtured serenity in his life. Participation in Alcoholics Anonymous helped him implement appropriate balance. These meetings were like his lifeblood. They kept him focused. Through AA  came effective support. The Twelve Step program served as a guide as he improved and defined his daily life. Jerry looked to God to help him face many a challenge. I borrowed his 12 Step manual. I saw the beauty of it as I read its pages and identified with its content. The 12 steps were similar to my own path to healing though without the book and enacted through my own intentional transformation. I thought the similarities uncanny.
Jerry invited me over every so often to talk about life in general. We discussed our ups and downs: problems, concerns, solutions, behaviors, disappointments; you know the drill. Both of us had the painful aftermath of rejection in common. This common bond caused a joining that was rich indeed.  In the other person, we experienced an empathetic understanding in response to the hand we’d been dealt. Neither of us had wanted our divorces.
Pain is a powerful emotion. Jerry addressed his struggles head-on. As a result of his effort, a new quality soon surfaced in Jerry that hadn’t been quite so obvious in our earlier acquaintance. I had known Jerry for over twenty years but had never thought him particularly religious. Now he would start our visits with an uplifting devotional, and he would end them in a heartfelt prayer. I knew his prayers went straight to the throne of grace. We often talked about spiritual concepts, especially salvation and God’s work in our lives. His faith was fresh and unspoiled like the innocent trust of a child. Not too many months out, he remarried and thus came an end to our visits.

Jerry shared with me many writings during our year or two of visits. He had gotten these through Alcoholic Anonymous and elsewhere. One of them stood out, The Symptoms of Inner Peace. He gave me a copy after I asked for one. The truth is . . . I believe Jerry accessed peace in the middle of the storm. God became big enough in Jerry’s mind for him to deal with every problem that came his way–and somehow without a buildup of resentment. Amazingly, I can confidently say Jerry lived the words of Symptoms of Inner Peace.

 

Inner peace speaks life to the soul. You know you have it when your thoughts and wishes have changed from being me-focused and having to be right all the time, to other-focused and being okay with what is. Inner transformation changes the way you live your life. Perspective informs a lifestyle.

Symptoms of Inner Peace

1.  A tendency to think and act deliberately, rather than from fears based on past experiences.
2.  An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment.
3.  A loss of interest in judging others.
4.  A loss of interest in judging self.
5.  A loss of interest in conflict.
6.  A loss of interest in interpreting the action of others.
7.  A loss of ability to worry.
8.  Frequent, overwhelming episodes of appreciation.
9.  Contented feelings of connectedness with others and nature.
10.  Frequent attacks of smiling through the heart.
11.  Increasing susceptibility to kindness offered, and the uncontrollable urge to reciprocate.
12. An increasing tendency to allow things to unfold, rather than resisting and manipulating.

 

You are fortunate if you have peace like that. Real peace doesn’t allow for comparisons or resentments to grow and fester. I have noticed when I walk in close relationship with God, I am more like the words in the writing. Things don’t bother me as much. They simply don’t matter. I can let them go because I mentally ‘will’ to release them. Some play out like an automatic response.

The Rest of the Story

The oncology ward at the local hospital housed my last visit with Jerry. It was a private visit, just him and me. He was quite thin and was recuperating from cancer surgery. The prognosis was not encouraging. He was given months to a year. Sadly, he had just weeks.

Jerry wanted to know about me, how I was doing. We hadn’t talked since he’d married. I shared with him how I had given a talk about my life in church and how it had been recorded. He wanted a copy. That never happened. However, his affirming and encouraging words meant a lot to me. Jerry truly was a dear soul. These days I meet with his youngest daughter whenever we can manage it. His love flows in my niece’s veins. She honors me with her love.

I am thankful for the blessings I received via my friendship with Jerry. He lived serenity. Peace ruled his life in a life-giving sense. I think it worked that way for him because peace links to the spiritual side of things. Jerry apprehended that something extra special in his last years. A frequent saying of his was referring to himself as “Jer Dog,” and he even had the T shirt. He said the “Dog” part was God spelled backwards, because God was important in his life. Always the optimist. Although never a church-going person nor well acquainted with deeper spiritual truths, I believe Jerry’s faith was a very real part of who he was.

Jerry greeted everyone with a smile and was always glad to see you. He is missed by all who knew him. The Serenity Prayer, The Twelve Steps, Symptoms of Peace, and Jer Dog, will for forevermore speak of Jerry in my thoughts.

R.I.P. Jerry Dean

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LIFE IS A CURIOSITY: Pause and Consider No. 1

CURIOUS THOUGHTS

LIFE IS FASCINATING. I was talking to my next door neighbor today. She turns one hundred on her next birthday and still lives alone. She’s sharp as a tack and up-to-date on world news…and the neighborhood gossip. She thinks we are entering dangerous times. Then she talked about her first husband, in WWII, then the Korean War. Then she spoke of her second husband in the Navy. Between them they had eleven children. She is concerned cuz she knows what danger looks like. She fears for our country. Next she said, “But what can you do? I look to Jesus every day to take care of me.”  She’s got that right. It is the best way to look forward.

GOD WATCHES OVER ME

I AM GLAD God watches over me. Sometimes I fail. Sometimes I miss the mark. Sometimes I come across different than I mean. Sometimes I fail those I love. I am a peacemaker at heart. I don’t want to disappoint or cause pain. Yet it happens. Then I can’t sleep. Like right now.

Long ago I learned to take it to the Lord in prayer. He is where I receive comfort. When I hurt, when I am fearful, when worries crowd in, I can’t handle them well on my own. I struggle. I need God. I need His wisdom. I cherish His grace. He gives me hope in the hard times.

HOW TO HELP
Q. What do you do for someone you know who is struggling?

A. You let them know that you care by doing something for them that shows you do care. …
The cashier asked if the flowers and card were for a celebration. I said, “They’re for someone who’s going through a hard time right now.” Yes, he nodded and said a kind comment.

LIFE’S VALUE
AM JUST HOME from a memorial service. Acknowledging a person’s life is a beautiful thing when they have lived their life well. Those who leave a lasting legacy in impactful ways are those whose lives intersect with and enrich others. Life is to be shared, enjoyed, and celebrated.

JOY OF THE LORD
ONE OF THE BEST things I’ve ever experienced is the joy of the Lord. I was singing with the Praise Team when an incredible joy overcame me. I grinned ear to ear and could barely contain my joy. I felt like light was beaming out of me. I wondered if anyone could tell. God be praised.

OVERCOMNG
MUCH IN LIFE takes a great deal of courage to get through. We have to dig deep to push through to the other side of our trouble. One thing we know, the sun will rise again. There is always hope. Christ said, “Be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” He is the ultimate overcomer.

We can overcome even the most difficult of circumstances. Be of good cheer, you will overcome. God will make a way for you and your family. I’m asking God to make a way for you. Keep a smile in your heart. Be kind to yourself. Be grateful. This too shall pass. I’m praying for you.

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9  KJV

Be heartened.