CLOSE to a year ago, my daughter mentioned they were looking into foster parenting. She said it started with seeing a billboard stating the gargantuan need for homes for foster children in their state. The thought persisted, and they began looking into it. Next they took classes and completed the necessary steps for fostering. Months later, they were ready. Their own four children became part of this acclimating process.

No one asked my opinion. I was wise enough to keep my opinion to myself. This was their deal. I would support it. I did have some misgivings, however, which is rather natural given the circumstances. I visited a couple of months after the first two foster siblings entered their home. The little ones were adapting, growing, and beginning to thrive. I saw growth happening during the time I was in their home. Behavior was calming down. Love was like a blanket covering the home. My heart cheered this effort on. Two more siblings were being considered at the time of my departure. Again, I had reservations. Could they really manage four foster siblings, ages 1, 2, 3, and 6, plus their own, ages 4, 5, 7, and 9? Just the thought of it was overwhelming, but my daughter’s family was seriously considering it.

My Thoughts – April 2019 – My Visit

For two weeks I have been with my grandchildren and the new introduction of foster children in my daughter’s and son-in-law’s home. They’re a couple of months into this new adventure. It is both challenging and delightful.

You can blend families together.

Here’s what I observed… and it goes for all parenting, not just fostering. Routine is your friend, always. Consistency is the mode. Love is the answer. Kindness, with strength backing it up, is the method. Children know if you like them, or not. We see this in all walks of life.

Anyone who works with children walks this fine line.

Their influence can change a child’s life. It won’t do so if there is little connection or true like for the child. Children instinctively know if they’re liked. The adult sets the tone and engenders good will as they seek to interact with the young ones in their care. Like able teachers and good parents, they know where they’re heading with it; they know it starts with care, love, and nurture; they know they are in charge of the situation as they employ strategies that effect positive outcomes.

Life is beautiful. It’s all in how you look at it.

If you understand this, you will
-provide ways,
-seek ways,
-and find ways
to enhance the lives of your littles.

Really.

Sometimes we get it muddled and confused. We may think children need to be entertained all the time. What does that teach in the long run? Give them time for creative play that pays dividends in their lives. Provide opportunity to learn how to do chores and, as a result, receive the inner satisfaction (and physical reward) for contributing. Cause and effect is a teachable concept.

Really.

Read books together. This practice is huge toward children’s vocabulary growth and increases background knowledge in science and history or whatever you choose to read with them. Plus, it joins parent with child. My daughter’s foster children already have grown to love books as they are read to on a consistent basis. At first they had no concept of this nor could they sit still and pay attention. Now it’s one of their favorite things to do, and they are attentive and learning.

Really.

Foster parenting is not an easy undertaking. Not only is it a lot of work but there are emotional needs. Trauma leaves its imprint and impacts children’s lives. Their ability to trust may be compromised. In some cases, a foster parent is like a lifeline. They provide a safe haven, nutritious food, healthy boundaries and much, much more. In a way I see it like a calling. You are called to this foster parenting scenario. I believe you must have something to give, with the prior understanding that you will go the distance, like employing lots of patience.

We went to the beach, my daughter and I and the six littles. The surf was gloriously refreshing. Miniature seashells dotted the white sand. The children splashed and played, enthralled with it all. Their sweet faces shone with joy. I enjoyed watching them dance in wonder.

Later on we ate ice cream cones on the patio outside. More laughter and delight. Yes, life is beautiful.

My Thoughts – September 2019 – Their Visit

Recently my daughter and family drove out here for a visit. Their family was with me for two weeks. We had some wonderful interactions. Last week I mentioned that here. My daughter and son-in-law are now fostering a four sibling group. Their natural born children have blended well with this process. Fostering has its challenges. It also has its blessings.

Love expands as you allow it to impress your relationships. I see this in my daughter’s family; and I see it in me. I already know I love their foster children. I will miss them if or when it comes time for moving on.

What I also know is this. Their foster children are being blessed and nurtured through this experience. My daughter and son-in-law are being blessed and nurtured as well.  A fortuitous reason has blended two families for this season. It is important to care for others, to be unselfish, to share what you have. That’s a good thing.