Category Archives: GENERAL INTEREST

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Contest of Wills

He Beat Me to the Checkout Line

I am heading toward the checkout line when a man dashes in from the side, literally sprinting into position and smugly takes his place in front of me. “You win!” I thought. I didn’t expect it since he was around my age.

I filed in behind him and then waited until it was my turn. He avoided looking at me and soon became very chatty with the cashier. I laughed to myself and thought of what my mind could have said. His action was totally unnecessary–I only had four items in my cart.

This jostling for position took me back a couple weeks ago when I said to friends that bad manners in traffic don’t upset me much. They just don’t. I can’t explain it. Long ago I decided to stop letting things like that bother me. It’s kind of strange how those things don’t upset me unless I let them. It’s such a relief.

What does upset me is when I do something stupid that causes someone else to brake or swerve, which happened to me–after months of isolation–when I returned to driving. My driving skills were rusty. It was embarrassing whenever I made a mistake.

Don’t sweat the small stuff.

People are going to disappoint us, even family and friends will get our goat. It helps to let some things go and not make a big deal about them, especially things that don’t matter in the scheme of things. Our sense of fairness notices these things. But are they worth getting upset about? It’s a given, people are going to let us down. They’re even going to take advantage of us, at times. We need to stand our ground on important things–the things that matter, but the other things may or may not really matter.

Years ago I read a pamphlet by Norman Vincent Peale where he said that others will hear you better when you address conflict with dispassion. I like that. It helps to be dispassionate when dealing with emotionally-charged issues. However, that’s not easy for me to do. I kid you not. I’m emotional by nature and my emotions readily show. But when I take charge and get myself under control, it works beautifully.

What I am not saying is to bury your emotions. When we explode way out of context, though, it may mean there is some issue that is unresolved inside us. This makes me think of how we choose to either respond or react to any given situation. I learned this concept from a friend who had climbed out from under it, who was in the process of overcoming and healing from abuse received at her mother’s hand, abuse so severe that she was almost killed. She said, that, like medicine, we either respond–which is curative and brings healing, or we react–which is harmful and causes distress, to an event.

Sometimes when I am reacting to a situation it causes a temporary freezing (shutting down) of my mind. My emotions overwhelm my ability to rationalize clearly. This is something that I recently realized happens to me in the moment. These types of things rob me of my joy, encroaching on my happy-factor. It’s just not worth it to me. Learning to accept what happens is a secret that comes with age once we realize that a lot of the things that used to make us angry aren’t worth it. I guess my mind is less complicated now that it’s healthier.

Nope, I don’t like bad manners. The man rushing ahead of me was displaying his selfish nature. That’s humanity speaking, a natural tendency. But, of course, winning isn’t everything. It’s how we play the game that matters. Are we honest? Are we kind? Do we speak the truth? Are we afraid to speak the truth? Are we wasting energy on things that really don’t matter? That cause us distress? Have we lost our mo-jo?

I don’t have all the answers, but God does. I do know that God loves us. God carries us through the difficulty. He helps us on our journey. He’s invested in making us holy, pure vessels for His use. And I’m good with that. He knows what I need. My wants are less important to Him. God is gracious. I’m glad He is good.

. . .

I wish you well on your spiritual journey.

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The Gift of Foresight

foresight: the ability to predict or the action of predicting what will happen or be needed in the future.

Merriam-Webster Dictionary

Definition of foresight

1 : an act or the power of foreseeing : prescience through foresight, she could tell what the outcome would be. 2 : provident care : prudence had the foresight to invest his money wisely. 3 : an act of looking forward also : a view forward.

Practical application.

I’m going to admit something here about myself that I’ve rarely mentioned to anyone. Things occur, decisions are made, and I can almost always predict the outcome of that decision before it happens. I guess this is the gift of foresight. However, what I really think is going on, is I have a broad understanding of human nature, and how it works in the scheme of things. Also, I have some slight em-path tendencies. Also, common sense enters in.

God may have gifted me with foresight.

Foresight is both a good thing and a bad thing. I often know what’s going to happen before it happens. I know personalities and how they react or handle things. For example, I remember when my church was voting on a youth program that costed $600. I also knew the youth leaders, and their leadership style. I knew before we voted that the money would be wasted, the leaders were sort of all over the place (not to disparage them, they did a good job). Yet, I didn’t say anything. I didn’t want to rock the boat. The church bought the program. It was barely purchased before the program was abandoned. It wasn’t a good fit.

Since those long ago days, I’ve learned to speak up. But sometimes I’ve dropped the ball, those times I should have spoken but kept silent. I felt the pressure of group-think, where fears of going against the grain kept me from voicing an independent view, where maybe I could have brought more clarity to the conversation. I’ve learned that if you keep silent, people think you are in agreement with those vocalizing and pushing to influence the outcome. In those cases, group-think was not the best solution for the situation. Two or three years later, it proved to be disastrous.

Foresight looks forward to the future. Wisdom, discernment, and forward-thinking benefits from looking at a choice and its possible outcomes–to the institution, people, culture–and if it will possibly cause damage control issues or worse. People can be their own worst enemies. In fact, sometimes the thing may be good but still not God’s will for you, your church, or your family.

Patience is a virtue.

The problem is that people steamroll ahead without giving serious thought to consequences of the choice or action. I think we’d all be better off if we would give serious prayer to decisions before we make them. God’s will is discernible. But sometimes people don’t want to wait long enough to listen for His will. Often, a waiting period is required before God reveals His will. Believers can be too impatient, and believers can do it their own way, impulsively at times. They think their solution is the right solution. Yikes!

Nope, not good.

Most of my ability to use the gift of foresight has a natural flow that impresses me with what’s going on. Sad to say, these incidents rarely are positive. Sometimes I’m down in the dumps for weeks and can’t talk about the issue with many I know. A couple close friends are trusted to handle these concerns of mine. Other times, spiritual warfare comes as a result of a wrong choice, which is never pretty. You can spot it by the confusion of people talking over other people and not hearing each other’s heart.

*I am not referring to supernatural foresight, an ability to foretell an unknown entity without any knowledge of the said event.

Influences and outcomes.

I wrote this post to encourage you as you place your stuff in the Master’s hand. God is not slack concerning His promises. He always welcomes us. Foresight doesn’t matter in the scheme of things, but wisdom does. If God is prompting you, don’t ignore it. Act on the prompting. His Spirit will guide you in the right direction without fail.

Some of the past has included wounding by our fellow Christian believers. Move forward. Let it go. Choose the right thing. Confront the past issue when necessary. Don’t live in bondage to the thing. Welcome God’s healing. Welcome His joy. Trust Him to carry you forward. Find God’s peace that passes all understanding.

God is gracious.

I wish you well on your spiritual journey.