The Painful Effects of Loss, God’s Answer, and His Seed of Love

Almost every negative experience delivers some form of loss. We may not recognize it as such, but it is. These often send us in a tailspin. We wander about trying to find a way to deal with it. There are counselors and advisors in every field who can be accessed. They are helpful. But, in reality, the choice is up to us–how we will react–deal or avoid–relative to the event or loss.

blog dear silent friendThe human will is key to overcoming any situation and bearing any form of loss. We must want to deal with it in a proactive way–even if we know the way out will take years rather than months. Some situations require ongoing support especially when our lives are affected by another person’s struggles as with mental illness, addictions, or dependency needs. There are books and resources we can apprise ourselves of, but they often smack of a band-aid approach. Although they bring understanding and protection, they fail to do the healing and restoring.

Some people’s struggles read like the book of Job. They have lost almost everything i.e. family members, employment, health and well-being, like my friend who lost family members to cancer including a beloved wife, and others to substance abuse and mental illness besides other things in his life. He bears up but just barely.  It was too much. He works at climbing out but is broken inside. I long for his healing and know it is possible. But he needs to know and believe it is possible.

What words do I have for him?  What words do I have for all of us as we deal with our many crushing life circumstances? I think we can make progress and grow. Yet that is incomplete. This I know to be true, our hope is not found here on earth for it will only disappoint. The temporary can offer relief. We can get better and improve our situation through hard work, effort and determination, but it is a necessary part of healing to let go of what we cannot make better and then trust God to help us with the rest. Every day is a chance to walk hand in hand with God. God can help us with the after effects of loss. We give it to God and then His eternal love enters our need.

God places His love in us, and if we let Him and begin to trust in Him as a good God, He will plant His seed of love in our hurting wounded hearts. The seed of love then sprouts. Through a process of love and trust the sprout grows, and grows, and grows some more. Instead of asking for our wants and wishes like a continuous brash noise, we find what it is to wait in silence for His words to comfort and speak to our inner souls. We enter into His presence with faith, praise and thanksgiving. Praise becomes part of our daily expression. We focus our energy on God and then we begin to understand what is going on. We, simply stated, are not alone. God is with us every minute of our day. Now the seed of love flowers into a radiant blessing. His love brings peace, hope, and healing as He renews our being and restores what is broken by entering into a living relationship with us and through His healing grace.

Dear One,

Your losses are many. You’ve been hurt. Life has brought you much heartache. Pain and suffering have walked with you in this journey through the dark side. Hope has left you in your struggle to maintain. But be of good cheer, God has overcome the world. You may not sense His presence, but He is with you. He has your best interest at heart. Trust Him to help you and to be here for you. Close your eyes and picture Christ next to you. Draw strength from His presence for He has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” You can count on Him to keep His word. Some day a new day will come. Trust Jesus for this.

Action Step: Name your hurts. Open your heart to God. Ask for His strength and help. Find a godly friend to help you in this.

Pray, “Dear Father, help me to know you as a kind and loving Father. Amen

Regrouping after an Unwanted Divorce

A HOPE AND A  PROMISE

He will be with you, he will not leave you or forsake you. ~Deut. 31:8 ESV

Rejection has the power to spew injurious messages inside the wounded person. When a marriage is ripped apart, negative emotions can ravage the mind’s sensitivities. It can leave a person gasping, struggling to make sense of what happened. Divorce smashes the dream that once shone so brightly and leaves destruction in its wake.

There are many ways to absorb these internal hurts. Some bury their feelings. Others unleash volleys of red-hot attacks. Some become overwhelmed by loss and grief. Others walk away in denial, never looking back.

Some unwelcome intruders jump on the emotional bandwagon. Resentment and bitterness visit in the quiet hours. Anger and spite seek payback with a vindictiveness that sabotages efforts at joy and happiness. Sorrow and sadness become a cloak of gloom difficult to lift. Depression and discouragement may rob children of the home they once had that is now just a wistful dream. It’s hard. The devastation of divorce will have repercussions and outfall. What to do?

You are stronger than you think. It is not hopeless even when it may seem so. For you see, it is not the end of the story. Life goes on. The person must go on with it. Once the shock wears off and the pain is managed, it then becomes possible to learn, change, and grow. It takes time, patience, and hard work to recover from injured self-perceptions and personal loss before one is able to live again.

This is possible because we are not alone. God strengthens us when we feel weak. He holds us when we are weary. He guides us when we are confused, struggling with our present and fearful of our future. Our heavenly Father promises to never leave us, even when the loneliness seems almost unbearable. He is true and steady. Gentle is his healing balm and loving grace. God is here.