Category Archives: Loss

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Discovering Meaning in God, a True Story

My posts are highlighting ways God draws us to Himself. So far I have touched on 1) God calls us to Himself. 2) Salvation is found in God through Christ. Today the topic takes us in another direction. 3)  Discovering God in personal awareness. Discovering God in a personal way is an emotional, spiritual, and intellectual turning to God for deeper meaning and understanding of one’s relationship of self to God. It is also a response to an awakening in one’s soul to a caring God.

I have shared my personal time of dedication in an earlier post, when at sixteen I gave my life to Christ. In this post I will share another true story, how I remember it from when it was told to me. This is an abbreviated version.

The story starts with a confused boy.

The boy was tenderhearted and spunky but very shy. A physical condition not readily identified and not diagnosed until late elementary school made accessing an education more difficult than for some. Teachers knew he was smart but they didn’t know why he wasn’t attending to instructions. When testing confirmed an auditory processing disorder, he said, “So I’m not stupid after all.” His self-concept improved as a result of the diagnosis. As a young child, he made a decision to put his faith in Christ while his mother prayed with him.

During his fifth grade school year, his Christian parents divorced. This put him in a tailspin. He became moody and distant; gone was his light and happiness. He felt neglected by his parents; his mother was dealing with her own pain and was less available to him.

He felt his needs were not being met; and they weren’t being met.

When the young man entered his teens, he became resentful, sullen. Pain began to mount and by high school, his struggles and his hurt were influencing him. The teenage boy became depressed but managed. He started hanging out with peers who weren’t the best for him, but he also overcame some of his shyness. His anger was surfacing more often and his relationship with his mother deteriorated. He was misunderstood by those he needed most, including her. He spent a few months at a Christian university, but his depression worsened while there. He would stay in his room, only going out for meals. No one seemed to notice his absence. A counselor at the university was helpful, but his education was a waste. Lost in the darkness of despondency, he no longer attended classes.

His mother was worried.

This young man landed a job that was quite physical and labor intensive in the agriculture industry. The conditions were not the best. The job was stressful and the way he was treated by the foreman made him feel demeaned. It was hard to do his job with the cloud of depressing thoughts, which complicated matters.

Old friendships were starting to implode.

He had a falling out with a long time friend and others. That hurt. He felt like his world was spinning out of control. Hopeless. The young man was worried about himself, that he might begin to make wrong choices that would be harmful and leave a lasting impact on him. Anger was building and life seemed to be closing in on him.

In despair one day, he picked up his bible and it flopped open.

The bible opened to Psalm 142. He began to read. For the first time in months, or years, he began to feel a smidgen of hope. The psalmist’s words were for him. The ache in his being matched the emotion of the psalm.

I cry aloud to the LORD; I lift up my voice to the LORD for mercy.

I pour out before him my complaint; before him I tell my trouble.

When my spirit grows faint within me, it is you who watch over my way. In the path where I walk people have hidden a snare for me.

Look and see, there is no one at my right hand; no one is concerned for me. I have no refuge; no one cares for my life.

I cry to you, LORD; I say, “You are my refuge, my portion in the land of the living.”

Listen to my cry, for I am in desperate need; rescue me from those who pursue me, for they are too strong for me.

Set me free from my prison, that I may praise your name. Then the righteous will gather about me because of your goodness to me.

The words spoke to his deep need.

A spark kindled. The reading of Psalm 142 marked the first step on his way back to God. Nothing changed outwardly, he didn’t go back to church or anything like that, but he sensed that God was real and God was with him. A couple of years later, in another state, he was in church one evening. While the speaker was sharing words of truth to an audience of young men and women, the young man’s heart and thoughts were drawn to the words of the speaker.

He began to weep.

His past, sins, and his hurt were parading through his mind. A deep sorrow overwhelmed him. Emotion came to the surface. He told me that he could barely stop weeping long enough to drive back to his living quarters. It felt as if he could go to the depths in his sadness with no bottom in sight.

In his sorrowing heart there was an opportunity for life.

Through the soft way God ministered to this young man, he was being changed and healed through the mercy and love of God. Another extension of this was from a book his grandmother had given him, God Loves You, by Dr. David Jeremiah. Through the message in this book about God’s love, he began to believe he was loved by God … and that God was a loving God. The knowledge of God’s love in a personal way was meaningful and further encouraged his spiritual awakening.

For several months this young man was on a spiritual quest. He spent time seeking God, reading, thinking, pondering truths of God. He was hungry for what God offered him. Ever since those days of spiritual healing, renewal, and transformation, this young man has lived differently. He is active in his faith,  has become part of a church family, and is a changed person. God loved him. He loved God back. He is not the same as he was before.

His faith is real to him.

The first time I saw this young man after his inner transformation, it was remarkable to me. His face looked different. I was surprised. The darkness of depression, the sad puppy look, had lifted and his countenance looked lighter and free. His eyes were clear and bright. Hands down, his level of change was remarkable. However, that was not when he told me his story, which came a few years later during a one-on-one conversation after he said to me, “I’ve never told you my testimony have I?”

And that is when I heard–the rest of the story.

Through his story, I would like you to note two particulars. First, the young man sorrowed for his sins and repented of them. This was emotional for it went all the way in, clear to his heart. His heart’s condition was a mess. His emotions were damaged. He needed God to help him. That is where change is initiated. Second, the young man became willing and open to receive God’s forgiveness, love, and transforming life. He no longer resisted.

He wanted what God had to offer him.

I think the emotional component is proof that this was real. The changed life is proof that there was an inner transformation. His continuing on in his faith, following God, making changes in his life and serving the Lord, are additional proofs of God’s tender working in His life. Evidence. Validation. Real change and lasting change comes when deep repentance and sorrowing is experienced, and when giving and yielding to God is desired.

This is a significant step in following God.

♥♥♥

My friend,

I may not know you but I do know this about you. You are dearly loved. God loves you. He very much wants to be a part of your life. You are the reason He sent Jesus, His Son, into the world that through Jesus Christ’s death, burial and resurrection, you may have forgiveness, hope, and life eternal. Trust in God and in Jesus’ love. You will not regret it. The love God has for you is real. He wishes you to have enough faith in him to believe in his everlasting love. Read John 3 in the bible to learn more of the gift of salvation Christ offers to you. Please leave me a message in the contact box if I may assist or encourage you.

God bless you,

Norma

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How to Have a Life with No Regrets

The Holy Spirit and Real Life

“Oh no!” I exclaimed while reading the private message in regards to a friend’s passing. “I’m in shock!” I responded. I am still in shock. Strangely enough, a poignant warmth filled my being as I remembered back to when he and I last conversed. I had felt compelled to visit with this friend, the male half of a wonderful two-some, during a trip this past September. Now he has passed on into the next life, and his wife, my friend and old roomie from college days, is left to pick up the pieces. I feel for her.

blog heading lakeI remember when they were dating.

He had this great big smile that accompanied his chuckle and he was like a giant teddy bear. He liked to tease my roommate (and me). She fell for him like a ton of bricks. Over the years she and I kept our friendship alive, attending the Shakespearean Festival in Ashland, Oregon and a visit here and there when I made my way to their hometown for an event at my Alma mater. She’s a hoot. We laugh a lot when we are together and we share a love of writing. She and I share the struggles of life and what we’re learning because of them. It’s an honest friendship. We don’t hide who we are from each other. The focus of the friendship was on her and less about him. He often was away at work so it was girl-time. But our last visit was different. . . .

We were visiting in their home when he invited me to stay an extra day.

He was in physical pain, that much I could tell, and I sensed he wanted to talk with me. His questions were intense, deep, and I sought to answer them in the spirit of the dialogue (I love a below-the-surface discussion). Our conversation had a lot to do with Christianity, the upcoming presidential election, our Christian walk in the world today, and the challenges found in familial responsibilities. His wife listened to our back-and-forth comments rather than entering in. To stay longer meant I would have to cancel my plans with my cousin who lived down the I-5 corridor three hours south. Yet I felt the pull to visit with the two of them for an extended stay. It was weird, but I specifically sensed that our talk was meeting an unseen need. So I remained. It was fortuitous.

He and I had a lively talk that went on for hours.

Our conversation centered on difficulties concerning caregiver roles, power-of attorney legalities, and end-of-life matters. He’d recently lost a brother and then his mother within a few months of each other and knew what he was talking about. I was interested because of events in my own life. I was glad for the extra visiting time, but I had no idea it would be our last. Somehow I knew it was important. One of their little dogs jumped onto my lap, warming up to me, and he said that was a rare thing for her.  He mentioned visiting my family when my children were young, when he had a truck delivery at the Chico airport. He said he liked my husband, who was cooking dinner because I had had a rough day, and how he was sorry when he learned that our marriage had fallen apart. That was good for me to hear, and it reminded me that there were good parts to my ex and in our marriage. I am glad that he said those words to me. The September 11th, 15th anniversary was being remembered on TV as we talked about that day of all days. I talked about visiting the grave of my sister earlier in the day, and its accompanying sadness.

It is evident now that the Holy Spirit was leading that day.

I left early the next morning to visit a church a friend pastors. On the way I passed caravans of pickup trucks with signs, “We Remember” and American flags streaming from their cabs and truck beds in honor of the fallen from 9-11. They were impressive and comforting. I thought back over the prior night’s conversation and was pleased and thankful. I was also concerned because of my friend’s health needs and felt his wife’s fears regarding him. Last week, after my communication with his wife as I acknowledged his passing, she stated to me that her husband had enjoyed my visit. That meant a lot.

The compelling of the Holy Spirit comes in a persistent thought.

The thought worries at you. You should call ….  The Spirit is bringing that person to mind because they are in need of encouragement or a listening ear. Do something nice for her, means you need to act, and you should act now, which happened to me last summer. My friend’s marriage was ending in an exceedingly painful way. I followed through on the prompt by buying her a bouquet of pink roses to help her know she is loved and cared for and is not alone in her suffering. I shared how my siblings had sent me a bouquet to stand in solidarity with me the day when my divorce finalized. Tears came to her eyes as she thanked me.

Humans can’t see the big picture but God does.

It happens like this. You have a chunk of change in your purse reserved for a specific personal need when a thought comes that says to give it to someone that you know has a need. Do you do it? Do you give it to them and disregard your own need? You should. That happened to me this Christmas. This was a lean year and every dollar counted but then the thought came, they need it more than you do, give that bill in your wallet to them. I’ve learned not to fight the prompting. I put the money in a card and gave it away and never regretted it. I was being obedient. We cannot regret doing what God wants us to do. And we give our alms in secret by not trumpeting our goodness before others. Our acts of service are done for love of God, not for praise of man or woman. Interestingly enough, God has met my need in other ways as I trust Him for it.

Be sensitive to God’s leading.

The Holy Spirit prompts us through our thoughts. Lots of times the prompt centers around praying for a person and their specific issue or problem. It may be a thought that tells you to help them out as in a call to action. Or it may be a quiet thought that says to let a troubling issue ‘go’ that is causing you angst as the Spirit prompts you to live ‘above’ the circumstance by choosing to  abide in God’s grace. He calls you to extend grace to the situation, to ‘them,’ when in the flesh you would rather withhold and withdraw in self-protective, anger-induced  mode. The prompting may be the asking of forgiveness for an offense. You may find yourself praying for the person on the sidewalk who is homeless or for the President-Elect. You pray for them because you are called to pray for them. It may be you are prompted to take the time for a neighbor, friend, child, or family member. The secret is to act on the prompting.

There is a side benefit to all of this.

The strength and power received in answer to our prayers is directly affected by the willingness of our hearts and minds to be obedient to the Spirit’s leading. It is sweet spot for the person whose life is joined in close immediacy to the God-head. We cannot harbor ill-will toward someone and still have power in our prayers. In the same way, the Holy Spirit has free reign in our souls when we keep a pure mind and pure heart through daily confession and cleansing, as we seek to be open and close with God. An impure vessel is not receptive to God’s leading and promptings. The necessity for daily intimacy with God and His Spirit is worth the effort it takes to come clean before Father God.

It is possible to live a life with no regrets, spiritually speaking.

Following the Holy Spirit will cause you to experience a life with no regrets, in that, with God in the lead you will know you are doing what you should be doing and the activities in your life will have lasting value. The fleshly regrets will be there in regard to what is not of God but the spiritual side, when unrestricted, will have no regrets because it is not acting from out of the flesh but is acting in and through the Spirit’s knowledge and understanding.

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I hope this makes sense. Feel free to leave a question for me. Bless you.