Category Archives: Loss

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Add a New Year and Then?

A Look Back

A new year is here. We look at what is ahead of us. We’re kind of excited but we’re uncertain as well. On my next birthday I will join the group of seventy-somethings. I can hardly believe it. It’s like my life has been lived in walled off sections. There were the first years, starting in Southern California, then a move to Northern California. Working on the farm. Making crafts, sewing clothes, singing in trios with my sisters, in choir, and performing in West Germany while in high school. Next I went to a private college in Oregon (many stories from those years) and graduated, My life took a turn and I married, moved and grew, became a teacher, then program specialist, and then a writer. I became a mother of five, and was divorced after twenty-one (troubling) years. The years were both fun-filled and heart-wrenching, but I worked hard to keep it all as good as I could.

Spiritually, I kept striving forward, even during the very difficult days. God was my Rock. He kept me close during the good and bad days. He held me up when I sinking and could not find a way out. I loved being a mom. I tried my hardest to be a good mom. I also tried to be a good wife, That didn’t work out so well. Most of the years we were married, my mate wanted out. I couldn’t accept his view. I didn’t believe Christians should be unfaithful and divorce. You can imagine the trouble it made. We saw the act of marriage from two different viewpoints. Of course, we kept our opinions to ourselves, which made the distress much greater when it occurred. I’m not going to say much about our marriage other than it was hard on all of us and still impacts us in curious ways today.

A Look Forward

As I look forward I realize there is much to look forward to…although it is a much quieter life. Right now I’m in Florida with four of my five adult children. I enjoy my grown-children and am more of an encourager than a participant. There are seven grandchildren.. They’re all so busy and loving life. Yesterday we went to the white sandy beach on the coast of Florida. No one could go in the surf deeper than their knees because the wind was making the waves sort of scary. Clouds in the pure blue sky were lovely. Thomas (my second son) and Titus (my oldest grandchild) were busy hunting wildflowers to take pictures of them. Some made a sandcastle, a real beaut. Then they all joined in a big circle and tossed a Frisbee back and forth. I’m so glad for the life they have, and it is a good life. My three single sons are busy with work (Josh-Montana, Thomas-Texas, and Forrest-Florida). Best of all was seeing each one of them and my daughter and her family.

When I look forward now, I can see that what I have to offer is more in the depth kind of wishes. I spend a considerable amount of time reading God’s Word. God has much to teach me, I study and am amazed. I contemplate. What does God mean when He says thus and so. There is much He wants to teach, if I will but take the time to read and listen. For God has a way of talking to us when we take the time to honor and listen to Him. About a year ago I was discouraged. I was unhappy that my life had changed because of my stroke. And the diabetes was a double stamp of trouble. I struggled. I complained a bit. I also was going through my grandparents stuff, mainly letters and paper things from both sides. There seemed to be no end in sight. I decided to read a few of the letters. I gained an understanding of the part they played in my life. Every person had a part to play, As You and I look forward to the days, weeks, months, and years ahead, we will meet obstacles, hardships, pleasant moments and joy-filled days and unforseen obstacles we haven’t encountered yet…but God knows and will keep us headed in the right direction. We may not know the right way, but He does. That brings me comfort.

But Really, Look at Today

One thing I know is that we have today. Each day God gives to us is a day of promise. He promises to be with us, to help us, to lead us, to make things clear to us, to lift us up, to carry us a long, to sustain us, to provide for us, to minister to us, to dry our tears, to keep us trudging along even when we”d rather quit, to make us into an exceptional rose with high value and a ever fervent scent, someone who is judiciously remarkable in His kingdom. We smile at someone, and they are blessed. We stand up for a right thing, and someone else is blessed. We help someone, and they are blessed by our offer. We share our faith and someone notices. We make someone smile…we pull a weed…we comb our hair, and then theirs…we make a dinner, and then share it with someone, we sweep our sidewalk and do our neighbors next…and so forth.

But most of all we can pray. It helps when you make your prayer more than the same one that you did yesterday. There are so many different things we can pray for that are way beyond our ordinary lists. The things we complain about we can turn around by praying for them. Our problems and sins will do well when we pray for them. Praise God in your prayers, which is unbelievably uplifting. Thank Him for the many, many blessings that you and others have been given. Open your heart to His voice. He will bless you abundantly. Thank Him for the multiple blessings He has brought to you and your family. Be gracious for all the various nuances He affords to you time and time again. For example, look at the sky, thank Him for the air that you breathe, the clouds and/or the rain that refreshes the earth. Just think of all the blessings you can than God for regarding your body and things like that. It amazes.

However, What Does It All Mean?

We should learn and we must learn. If all we do is sit and watch television or watch videos on our computer we are wasting the time that God has allowed us to live. We are to be productive for God. And that means more than we were before this day in time. Our circumstances change, like mine did, but we have the capacity to live completely in Him regardless of the way God is directing our path. To be honest, I thought I would have to give up this blog because of my stroke. I was willing to but I didn’t want to. I thought you wouldn’t miss it much. I wasn’t even sure you were reading it, since I rarely see comments. But then, and because of one of my faithful friends (MJB), I realized that my words encourage others.

This is it for today. God bless you. He is able.

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Pay attention—

In some ways, the world seems to have gone cattywampus these days. I can’t help but feel a little discombobulated. It appears things are getting more confused as the days take us further along. Maybe people have always felt this way. I think that we need God. He knows what we don’t know. I am sure glad that He does. Now that I have your attention, let’s get in gear.

Some people, some friends, some other folk need some help.

The days are confusing at best. But have I no hope? Of course not. I have lots of hope. But it wasn’t always this way. It took quite a bit of learning and keeping quiet. I tried my best to face the problems when they came. As I think back on those difficult days, I tried my level best to make the home a place that managed the tough times. God kept me humming forward. I never gave up though I was tempted to on various occasions.

I remember the very first time I was left, how I went to an attorney in my church. I didn’t know what to do. If I should get a legal separation? What about the money? I’d need to protect it. I met with the attorney. He gave me some appropriate advice. I waited for the bill. But it never came. I then realized there would be no bill. He knew I was having a hard time. That meant the world to me. People are good that way, and I’ve never forgotten it.

I learned as I went & grew as I learned

There was a period of years when I couldn’t keep on going. It all caught up with me. I had to rely on God and on the people in my family and in my church family. It was amazing how they cared for me, Randy, and the children. They gave, and didn’t expect anything in return. They listened when I wanted to talk, which I didn’t too often (at least, that’s the way that I remember it). They helped, and gave it their best. People are caring and they help when and where they can.

My family gave what they could. We are a private family, and are uncomfortable with sharing, I had to get my parents approval, so to speak, when I decided to write parts of my story. I knew they would be uncomfortable with some of what I said. Yet I knew that I must put some of the dark stuff from my past into the conversation. But I needed to do it in a way that my children wouldn’t be hurt by the things I needed to say or other members of my family also. My family supported me in what I had to say. I give them the credit for this and for helping us through it all.

My sister Marilyn gave me some wise advice long ago. She wisely cautioned me to say what I needed to say, but to let the rest go. She’d been through a tough time when she lost her first child. I remembered watching her as she and her husband sought to cope. She knew first-hand the ache that pain brings. We lost our sister, Lois, too. That was a tough pill for all of us to swallow. Marilyn really loved us, me, the family. They sought Randy out because they cared for him, and they wanted him to know that they did. It’s wonderful to have a family that speaks with their words and with the right tone.

How you can help

How do I make this about you? One way. Make the conversation about you, what you can bring to the conversation. We all have something to say. Every single one of us has a little something to say that will encourage someone else. Though your road may not have a lot of bends and twists, it has the lessons of life that can and will encourage someone. If you doubt what God may have you to say, just allow him to speak what He wants through you. We all have something to share, God brings you into conversations at just the right time. Surrender your day to Him and watch what He brings to pass. I’d love to hear what God shows to you.

Let me say a caution of a sorts. God will work in your life in many different ways. Let Him direct your path in whatever way He wants. Be a good follower and then you won’t make many wrong choices. Ask yourself the following questions.

Do you want to pay attention? Do you want answers to the hard questions? Where and how does your faith matter? If you know what you believe it becomes easier to answer these questions. But, as with most things, you have to employ faith in the product. Same is true for the heart matters. Trust God with all your heart and then you can believe with confidence. God will make Himself known to you.

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A YouTube pleasure for you today. I love listening to the meaningful podcasts.