For Mother’s Day
Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. Proverbs 31:28 KJV
A Loving Tribute to Evelyn F. Brumbaugh, my mother
Mother’s Day makes me think of my beautiful mother. Mother lives in assisted living now. Dad still lives on the farm. My father and mother’s love has a sweetness the years have nurtured. She brightens when Dad walks into her room, and she is happiest when he is there with her. For sixty-six years they have been joined in marriage and in name. They and we continue to adjust to their world as it changes.
Mother is a wise mate to a strong husband. Being a farmer’s wife is not the easiest of occupations. Mother was resilient and uncomplaining throughout the lean years and years of hard work. She supported my father through the ups and downs and made the best of every situation; things like bringing Dad an egg, bacon, and toast sandwich while he was tractoring in the early hours, sewing a canvas umbrella for his Caterpillar D-4 tractor when the sun was too bright, mending his jeans and shirts because they were his favorites, and respecting him with her actions. I realize now how difficult this may have been, for times were not always easy.
When Dad planted yet another orchard at age 80, my mother wasn’t so sure about it but she didn’t stop him. Planning and growing a new orchard has always been one of the things my father loves best. She understands this about him. He’s reciprocated in his own way, attended her orchestra concerts, accepted her penchant for artistic endeavors and buying of material to sew, and his saying thanks for a good meal. Their favorite activity together that they both enjoyed was, and still is, playing cards together, in a foursome, or in a group. Also, homemade ice cream in the summertime was a staple in their home that we all looked forward to enjoying every visit.
Mother is also a loving and strong mother to her children. She demonstrated the depth of her love through her thoughtfulness and strong parenting. Mother did not raise her voice at us, and she never was one for much conversation. She taught by example and by showing us how to do many things. We girls were expected to act responsibly. We sewed, baked, practiced piano, cleaned, and did some artsy crafts over the years.
There were always good meals at our home, and lunches, and hot breakfasts, too. She sewed my sisters’ and my clothing from childhood throughout my high school years, and she helped me with my sewing projects until I became adept at sewing my own clothing. All of us helped with the vegetable garden and canning (tomatoes, string beans, corn, peaches, apricots, and pears). Mother encouraged book reading. We went to the county library and were given books as gifts. We were blessed by my mother. Blessed indeed.
I think, though, the greatest heritage my mother gave to her family is in the spiritual realm. When we were children, she read bible stories and true life stories to us. We would pray while kneeling at the couch. She led me to faith in the Lord when I was seven on one of those nights. Mother made sure we were honest, kind, obedient, and responsible. She also made sure we were at church for youth services and regular church services. It was the expectation. The youth group came to our home on occasion for singspirations and pool parties. She drove us up to college in Salem, Oregon and went the extra nine yards to make sure we were ready for college
These days I see my mother three or four times a week. She is appreciative of the visits and always tells me to come again. I put my arm around her shoulders and pray with her before I leave. Sometimes I feel a lump in my throat during this moment of closeness. I find that a loving touch means more to her now than it used to. I like to think back to the days when she was energetic and able to do what she enjoyed. One of those things was putting on a big meal for the family. She always enjoyed having us around . . . and feeding us!
I like to make Mother happy. I like reading to her. I like bringing her flowers. I like telling her about things that are happening in the family. I like being with her. I like reading her articles I’ve written (she listens intently to them). She needs me more now than ever before because life has narrowed for her. She needs being loved for who she is. She thrives on tender care. She loves being loved on by her family. I think she gets lonely. I don’t want her to be lonely. I want her to know she is appreciated. It is my turn to give unconditionally and love unconditionally. Mother and I say, “I love you,” to each other a lot more than we used to, and it feels natural to do so.
Mother has a quiet grace about her. Her kindness and care are always with her even though her health has declined and the years are not so promising anymore. Staff who assist her often tell me that my mother is sweet. It makes me glad that she has cultivated this part of her life and it hasn’t left her despite other changes and memory lapses. Mother blesses me with her love.
I think I will read this to her when I visit her on Mother’s Day. That will bless both of us. Be thankful for your mother and any “adopted mothers” in your life. They are easy to spot because they love well and come along side when you need them (and they love your children).
“I love you, my dear Mother.”
NEXT WEEK: My meeting Wm. Paul Young for the first time at the Jesus Center Luncheon 2018