Category Archives: Relationships

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Always Speak Life

Millie

Her name was Millie. She became my friend when I was thirty-one and she was seventy-two. Our family had just moved to Greenville in the mountains. My third child was two months old, the older children were two and four. It was fall, and cold was setting in. She and her husband were my neighbors, two houses down. The house we’d rented was inadequate for keeping out the cold. She brought over a stack of blankets. We hung one blanket over the sliding glass door as a barrier to the cold. Millie was lovely in every way. She treated our kids to cookies and hot cocoa. She was someone for me to talk to.

Seven Months Later

Millie and Les moved to Chico the same day as my family moved me back to Chico. My husband had just left us out of the blue, with no clue as to his whereabouts. I was a mess. Millie listened. I heard from my husband after four months and when after two more months, I took him back, she cautioned me in a direct, wise, and kind way. I didn’t always heed her advice, but I knew she would not reject me. She stood by me through many years of struggle.

Speaking Life

Millie spoke life to me. She spoke truth to me. She was love to me. I could tell her my troubles, and she didn’t judge me. I told her raw things I was uncomfortable telling my family. She’d been through hard things, as an Okie, the oldest child of several children. Her youngest sister who was twenty years younger than her, she had practically raised. She’d left Oklahoma with her family, and worked in the fields for many months until they made it to California. Her first marriage failed due to his infidelity. Her second husband was a keeper. They met on the dance floor. Les and Millie soon married and set up housekeeping in Berkley where she was a printer and he an interior decorator.

Millie adopted my little family. I soon realized we were not the only ones she had adopted. She loved young people and put into their lives. She had loyal friends of all ages. Her church people loved her too. Millie had learned the secret to life. She loved well. The interesting thing, though, she was a strong woman who didn’t mind saying what she thought.

Les and Millie

As I was writing this post and thinking about its content, immediately Millie came to mind. She lived what I am writing about. Her life was open, honest, affirming, and loving. That affirming quality drew people to her everywhere she went. We all loved her because she loved us. She was like another mother to me. Millie was the genuine article. I lost a true friend when she passed on.

The Reason

What sort of message are we giving off by way of our body language, facial expressions, words, and demeanor? Are we self-aware? Is Christ evident in our reactions? Are we sour and annoyed or content and at peace most of the time. How can we instill positive qualities in ourselves?

There are many answers to these questions and I don’t have all the answers. But I do know that it helps to self-reflect. It helps to go ‘further still’ in our spiritual life. It helps to be self-aware. It helps to forgive others. It helps to reach forward. It helps to heal from what’s hurt us. Most of all, it helps to ask God to grow us and embrace Him in the process. He is the reason.

You Can Do It

Did you know that we can speak life to people we meet? It comes down to our attitude, focus, and bearing. I believe the more we embrace the Father’s love, the more capable we become of living in His great love. We center ourselves in Him as much as we are able, and then He helps Himself to our life to make it pure, holy and loving. Surrendering our will to God’s will makes a huge difference in how we live each day.

We can control most things, even when we’re agitated or elated. In addition, we have a spiritual resource that is ALWAYS available to us. Father, Son, and Spirit are here to help us. Jesus’ life flows through our lives. We can allow Him access, even when we don’t feel like it. He speaks truth to us in our spirit. Our soul is then refreshed.

Speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ.

Ephesians 4:19

You may be at the beginning of your healing journey. Nevertheless, you’re in the game of life. As God renews, heals, transforms, and changes you, something miraculous simultaneously is being released in you. You will know God better, you will have a greater capacity for God-enabled love, joy, and peace.

The Spirit of God at times will overwhelm your spirit as your soul repairs and experiences renewed life. One of the joys of living in the Spirit is an outlook based in grace. This outlook is a deep graciousness that we didn’t manufacture, but God did. People like Millie don’t just happen, they’re nurtured in the Beloved. They live life with purpose. It is natural for them to bless others–for the life of the soul comes from the heart.

May the words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.

Psalm 19:14

Spirit or Flesh?

At any given moment, we are either living out of the flesh or in the Spirit. I’m sorry, but you can’t do both at the same time. I’m not talking about salvation or the Spirit’s work in our lives. I am talking about yielding our lives to God and letting His Spirit direct our path throughout our days.

It’s either this? Open to the flesh.

Or this? Open to the Spirit.

We are either opening the door to the flesh or to the Spirit. When we live in the Spirit then we can speak life to all we meet. We’ll still get bogged down and fail and be disappointed. But we get up, and we choose how we will live, regardless of the other stuff in our life.

Speak life with a smile and comforting word by being direct and kind.

. . .

I wish you well on your spiritual journey.

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About Me & My Family History, The Rest of the Story #4

Christian Heritage

My familial upbringing contributed significantly to the making of who I am. Christian faith was an integral part of our family dynamics. I was raised with a Christian worldview. My parents’ perspective viewed everything including our choices with a spiritual purpose in mind and that we should live our lives that way. We didn’t add on Christianity, we lived it.

My father farmed row crops and orchard crops. We children always worked on the farm. We learned to be careful, responsible, and to think for ourselves. Our family lived simply with few frills. I didn’t resent this. It was a way of life. It made me value hard work. I knew I was well-loved.

Both my parents and all my siblings are lovely people. My father is a man with integrity, an honorable man. Not many come as honest as he is. I have Mother to thank for her encouragement of music, spiritual guidance, and academic support. Both parents built character and responsibility into our lives. They also were rather strict in what they allowed and didn’t allow, as was our church.

Protestant in theology, Baptist in church association, strong in Biblical teaching and personal accountability, we children developed our Christian walk through the home, church, and our college choices. I did see a few chinks in the armor, though. Later I would come to see areas of my Christian identity in a somewhat differing and expanded way. God would bring this to pass in His time.

Christian College

Triple Trio. I’m in the back row, far left.

My first venture out of the home was to attend a bible college: Western Baptist Bible College in Salem, OR. During my sophomore year, WBBC became a liberal arts college and changed its name to Western Baptist College, and now it’s Corban University. My major was Christian Education. Music, voice, and art were side studies. I traveled in music groups on weekends–concert choir and Triple Trio–whereby representing the school by performing in supporting churches.

At WBC, I loved the dynamics of being with like-minded peers. All WBC college students were required to complete 30 units of Bible and every student had to pass a Christian Theology test to graduate. Christian service was another requirement. I participated in jail ministries, music ministries, and as a puppeteer. I am grateful for the Bible-based coursework, for it contributed to my life by grounding my faith in spiritual truth.

After college, I returned to my hometown of Chico, California. I immediately began teaching at Paradise Christian school. I broke up with my college boyfriend and started to date a local man. He was a brand new believer from a nonspiritual background. He had become a Christian while stationed at Fort Lewis, WA. We first met at my church in Chico, and later became better acquainted after he was discharged from the Army. We married in 1980. My husband lacked the family/religious structures that played so significantly in my life. Our differences would not bode well for us.

Family and Church

1986

In 1982, I stopped teaching when our first child was born. My husband and I would eventually have five children. I was a stay-at-home mom. I didn’t want anyone else to raise my children even though it meant there was limited resources, and usually there wasn’t much money. Homemaking was what I did for nine years, and it was my favorite occupation ever. In 1992 we lived in Westwood, CA. After being encouraged to substitute teach by my third child’s kindergarten teacher, I passed the C-Best and reentered the teaching field as a substitute on a part-time basis.

Over the years, my little family was always active in the local church. I served in every church we attended, mostly as a teacher. One thing my family of origin had prepared me for was working in the church. I held many positions over the years i.e. Sunday School teacher, Christian Education Director, Women’s Ministries Director, Choir Director, Children’s Church teacher, AWANA leader, Christmas Program Writer-Director, and speaker.

* * *

I know this post was a long recital, but I’m not a young chick anymore and there was lots to say (and I left a lot out). It is kind of nice to tell you some of my life story. I hope it wasn’t too boring.

More next week.