Relationships | Norma L. Brumbaugh

On this fine day I’m going to share pertinent observations garnered over the past few months. Here is a list with supporting pictures of what I’m truly grateful for at this moment in time. On the outset, I just want to say that God makes all this possible. I wouldn’t get far without God’s intervening.

My Dad

I’m pleased to say that Dad is still here with us.

Visiting with Grandpa on Thanksgiving Day last year. We were only allowed to visit outside at the time.

Spring 2022, Dad visiting with one of his grandsons, who, with his wife had driven from Washington to see Grandpa Brumbaugh.

Dad’s 93rd birthday: 4 Generations: Dad, my brother, my brother’s son, and his son’s son

Dad is experiencing decline. I try to wrap my mind around this change as he changes. I’m able to visit Dad a lot, but our visits are becoming less interactive. It’s the being there that matters now. I love him and want him to always know he is loved. Now it is more about Dad and his needs and less about me and my needs. Dad is usually asleep when I come to see him. Dad then looks up, sees me, greets me with a smile, and says, “Hi, Norma.” It’s so worth it.

My Siblings and Relatives

I’m grateful for my wonderful family.

My youngest daughter at her bridal shower.

My two sisters, sister-in-law, and cousin-in-law hosted my daughter’s bridal shower. My daughter knows she is loved well.

Here we are at a cousin’s bridal shower.

Celebrating Dad’s **93rd** birthday with family.

I saw lots of extended family this year. Everyone was trying to make up for lost time. The family units split the time between staying with me and with my brother and his family. My siblings, nieces and nephews were coming to see their grandpa/great-grandpa as the country was crawling out of isolation. We had several family gatherings: three bridal showers and two weddings, an anniversary celebration, a baby shower, and celebration of life services. Saying goodbye to loved ones is always sobering. You don’t get over it very fast. Those we lost were special to us, and we miss them. Yes, it’s been a busy year. Yes, I’ve been weary at times. And, yes, it’s been challenging, but it’s also been exceedingly worth it! We’ve seen a lot of each other. I cherish these interactions. A side benefit is how we’ve grown closer. We’ve become more expressive and generous in multiple ways. The younger generation shared of themselves and consequently I/we got to know them better than before.

My EHS Study Group

My friend started a EHS study group back in 2021.

Last week we finished the book after spending over a year immersing ourselves in the concepts presented in Emotional Healthy Spirituality. I gained a greater appreciation for the beauty of sharing life with others. It’s freeing, helpful, has healthy aspects of honesty and vulnerability–couched in respect and acceptance–and is richly rewarding. Discovering our human frailties–regardless of the whatevers–is enriched by our mutual goal of growing deeper in our faith.

My Friends

I alluded to my friends in last week’s post.

I spent a few days with a childhood friend. Our time together was precious.

The intensity of my friendships alter over time. Regardless, I am very grateful for these dear ones. I saw one of my old friends back in August when my family went to our old haunts in the mountains. My son saw her car parked in front of the restaurant where she waits tables. My kids and I went inside. It was such a joy to see her again. I spent a few days in Lakeport with another friend. We couldn’t seem to stop talking!

Good Books and Instructive Videos

This year I dove deep into a variety of stellar books.

So many books, that it’s unbelievable. I’ve been on a learning curve, again. Some are old books that were my Mom’s, many of which are out of print now. I read spiritual, health, contemplative, about mental health (which overlaps into other areas), the craft of writing, and fun (novels) books. I love learning and crave the insights of the authors. I’ve also been listening to videos instead of watching television, videos along the same lines as the books I’m reading. There’s a wealth of material out there just waiting to be accessed. If I’m not careful, interviews on podcasts will gobble up all my free time.

God’s Word

God’s Word speaks.

We could say, God’s Word is evergreen. The bible is way applicable for today. I’ve spent months reading in the Old Testament this spring, summer, and fall. I can’t help but draw parallels from those times to these days. It’s uncanny the similarities. I would despair but for God. Many are the promises found in God’s Word that apply to us today. I’m grateful that God is enough for each day, and no one can take Him or His promises away from me. God is with me to the end. Woah! Whew! Sigh! I am abundantly blessed by God and through the reading of His Word.

Prayer

Prayer takes on a broader dimension as we grow older.

The verse, “Pray without ceasing,” becomes a spontaneous reality that we unconsciously and routinely do. We retirees have more time to pray than we used to. We have less demands on us. But that’s just a small part of it. Prayer is a conversation that covers our whole life. We pray thoughts and requests throughout our days. We give praise, “Thank you, Father, for _______. You’re so good to me. You’re so good to my kids. You know what you’re doing, and I do not. I trust you in this. You know best. etc.” All I can say is I’d be lost without prayer.

God’s Provision

Wow! How God provides.

My son and brother working on a project for me. Just, wow. I’m so thankful.

My BIL getting ‘er done. I couldn’t believe how many clumps of roots he had yank out.

God provides for our individual needs. He is providing for global needs. He keeps us safe, more times than we can know. Really. My brother-in-law flew out of the country to join a team helping Ukrainian refugees. God orchestrated that event in amazing ways. My sister, her husband, and adult daughter went to Germany to see her son (an Army officer) and to tour Europe. They went to the church where the first Brumbaugh (Brumbach) relatives’ names are recorded in the church registry (marriages and births) from back in the day. While touring, they saw the graves of notable people from church history. God kept them safe while they traveled. Germany reopened from restrictions right before they arrived; that’s a ‘God thing,’ too. God has provided for me personally in physical ways, financially (in answer to prayer), practically–my BIL and sister helped with the much-needed landscaping in my backyard, which was an arduous task, and by supplying my need for family, friendship, and fellowship.

Church

It’s so good to be back in church.

After more than 18 months of watching church services on TV, though good, it is extremely heartwarming to rub shoulders with church people in church services. It’s like coming alive again. In fact, it felt awkward at first (partly because I’ve changed church fellowships). I love being with God’s people. I’m attending a church where they sing many of the old hymns, some long forgotten songs that were sung often during my youth. An old song is like meeting old friend. Although, when I was a youth I didn’t pay much attention to the words. Now, the words minister to me. My spirit soars in praise and worship of the King of all kings.

My Children

Yesterday, my fourth child invited me for dinner.

We had BBQ steak, which he cut into thin strips. He made Mexican rice, shaped masa into homemade tortillas that he fried, cooked a superbly seasoned pot of beans, and prepared all the fixings to top it off. He went to a lot of trouble. I felt loved. He made me happy. It was so good to be with him. This year my youngest child got married. A marriage is something to celebrate. Then, my kids and I spent a couple of days together in the Sierra Nevada mountains. We enjoyed it all: Lake Almanor, walking in Westwood–seeing where we lived when they were young. Plus, my oldest son and I drove the loop to Greenville, Taylorsville, and back to Lake Almanor, ending in Chester. Children are a gift from the Lord.

My children and I at my youngest daughter’s wedding.

Saying goodbye to my oldest daughter and my oldest grandchildren.

Writing

Writing is the gift that keeps on giving.

I finished writing my first novel (Yay!). It’s not published yet. We’ll see what happens. This year I treated myself and purchased Grammarly. I am in the process of applying Grammarly to my tons of writings projects archived on my computer (and here). Wow! I discovered I make the same grammar mistakes a lot. It’s a tool I needed that has given me confidence. Now I can spot writing errors when I make them. Grammarly is a huge gift to me. I’ve been kind of confused about what I am to do with my old, unpublished manuscripts. I’ve spent copious hours editing them and re-editing them . . with the knowledge that they may be never published. That’s where I’m at with my writing. I’ve had a little professional feedback that tells me I need to reassess my writings and their presentation. I’m not confident enough to self-publish them right now. Thank you to those individuals who pray for me and have prayed for years. You know who you are. You believe in what God has given me. That’s one of the reasons I keep at it. I do love writing and believe it is a calling, a gift that God has given me. God also gives me opportunities to speak. I thought maybe I was too old, too boring, too rusty, but apparently I was wrong in this.

Lastly, God is Enough

Life is joy. Life is peace. Life is acceptance. Life is trust. Life is love.

Accepting what we cannot change or do not know how to change keeps us from grumbling. Life is trust, trusting what is, what was, and what will be. Sounds like Scripture, how it speaks of God, the God “who is, and who was, and who is to come” in Revelation 1:8.

Without question, God is timely and He is enough for every moment of our life. Life is love. Life is all about loving well. Love God with heart, mind, and soul, and your neighbor as yourself. Life is also hard. But we persevere and God gets the praise.

My heart is full. I can’t possibly put all my observations down here but I’ve tried to highlight the best of them.

Praise God from Whom all blessings flow. Praise Him all creatures here below. Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. Amen.

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

Today was an interesting day. I spent my time preparing some paperwork for Social Security. Midday I headed to Oroville to the Department of Records to get a copy of my marriage certificate. It was a nice drive and I was coasting along, happy at heart. This was a good day, and I was feeling it.

Now at the building, I input the information on a computer screen and then waited to be helped. Next it was my turn. I told the clerk that I was requesting an ‘old’ copy. She smiled when I said 1980. She had thought 1800’s when I said old. She said it would take a minute to print the marriage certificate.

The clerk handed me the marriage certificate. I’d not seen it before today, having had only a handwritten complimentary copy all these years. I looked at my ex-spouse’s name and my name, the year, the pastor who officiated, my friend Ronda D. and his friend Randy S. who were witnesses of our marriage. It startled me as I looked at it, and I remembered. My mood altered as I viewed the marriage certificate. A strange mixture of emotions came over me. I felt warmth, regret, sadness, happiness for that day, the joy of our children, and the everlasting melancholy that marked our marriage relationship. I had loved and lost.

I loved my mate with an innocent love. That love and my belief in our marriage had carried me through thick and thin, heavy on the thin. I was naive about a lot of things. I didn’t know what I was dealing with in our troubled marriage. That the marriage had been dissolved just days short of 22 years, was a testament to human resiliency and God’s faithfulness. We both had tried in our own ways. The flower had faded. For a while I faded too, after it ended. Pain does that to you. I’m still sorry our marriage didn’t make it. But it wasn’t for lack of trying.

At my daughter’s wedding this past June, I saw my ex again. We exchanged a few pleasantries. He came over to my house for a meal with my extended family, and it was okay. When you’ve lived with someone for two decades, you know them pretty well. The way they talk, their gestures, the way they laugh, and the way they carry themselves is so familiar that it all comes rushing back. You can almost predict what they’re thinking.

Morning glories I planted this year. They brighten my day.

It’s a few months shy of 20 years since we divorced. Neither of us has remarried. I’ve learned a tremendous lot since my world fell apart. God does make beauty from ashes. It’s sad that the kids get hurt in the process. Dysfunction is damaging. They’re doing pretty well now, I’m happy to say. But it’s not been easy. I tried so hard to protect them from getting hurt, yet they got hurt anyway. Why? There are reasons, but they no longer matter. We have picked up the pieces and trudged on. That’s a good thing.

One day I was talking to God like He was in the room with me. It was during those days of sorrowing for all I had lost, about a year after we divorced. I had lost not only my husband, but myself, my marriage, and seemingly, my future. I said to God, “If I ever marry again, I only want to marry if its Your will.” Immediately the still, small voice of God spoke within my spirit, and said, “Who says that it wasn’t My will?” That surprised me and pulled me up short. Make what you will of that.

Any comments?

I wish you well on your spiritual journey.

Love to all, Norma

Norma L. Brumbaugh

CONNECTING WITH GOD IN EVERYDAY LIFE

Category Archives: Relationships

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