Category Archives: Relationships

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We Need To Help People & We Need God

Some of us who were raised in a good home tend to view the world as okay, with little problems, or, at least, we used to see the world that way. The world isn’t that simple. You can’t think everyone knows the things you talk about or care about similar things. I’ve been around awhile, and I know that many people do not have a clue as to how the Christian really thinks and/or acts. Universities and high-up places are pretty much set against the way of Christian thought.

I Was Running On Empty

Christians have a variety of thoughts and a variety of ways they get their thoughts across to other people. You can probably tell by my writing that I am fairly traditional in my faith and experiences. But there was a time a few years back when I let my faith and experiences go and put it all up in front of God and said I wanted true truth from Him, not the church’s truth. I wasn’t against the church but I wanted to know what He wanted to show me. Nothing more and nothing less. That’s when my life turned and became truly different.

I looked the same. I went to the same church. I acted mainly the same. I was different, though. I started reading books outside of my protestant beliefs, not outside the faith but outside my firmly held beliefs. I was on a walk of faith. I told God He could show me what He wanted me to read, That was an amazing undertaking. I gobbled up reading. Books came my way via untraditional ways. Anglican writers, Catholic writers, the prior Pope, the deeper books of faith kept coming and I kept reading. I didn’t know where I was going to end up (and I started dating an Anglican who is now a priest). I was worried my family would think I’d left the faith, but I carried on. Frankly, I was somewhat nervous, but I was determined.

He Got My Attention

God was also taking me on a personal journey to discover what really mattered in my faith journey. I wasn’t telling anyone. They might get alarmed, since I didn’t know where I was going to end up. The books began piling up. I wanted to know more than I had been taught. I became amazed. Chesterton spoke clearly. Merton spoke deeply and fluidly. St. John of the Cross made me weep. I read ferociously. I was single by then and was eager to find my way. God took my eagerness and put into me truth in a new way. Most of my understandings changed little, but I came to realize that my beliefs were way to small and rigid.

I’m thankful God opened my eyes to the beauty around me. How do I view people now? Do they seek God for answers? Do they have a hunger for God? Do they love God? Is their walk of faith, in particular, their walk with God, meaningful, special, precious, heart-expanding, and real? People need Jesus. People need the Lord. God reveals himself to people who want to know Him, not just about Him. If you find Jesus in this way, you will be changed. God is your close friend. Until He is your closest friend I don’t believe you know Him as your Enough. He waits for us until we are ready to seek to find Him as our closest, dearest, and most worthy friend.

God Changed Me In A New Way

No one could have told me years ago that God would become as real as He has to me. My path was strewn with clutter, My heart was heavy. I’d tried so hard to be the right type of person but I failed miserably. For many years I tried. A lot of good happened those years. Yet I hadn’t found the key to unlock the door. I remember when it started, my husband had left me and my job was terminated. I sat on the couch and lighted a candle on the table before me. I surrendered it all to the Lord. I gave it all up. Every last bit. And asked Him to teach me whatever He wanted to teach me. I meant it and my tears intermingled with my words. I still suffered. Life was still hard. But I was open more than I had ever been, and God knew it. My journey to health and wholeness started that day and will continue for the rest of my life. I’m so glad. I’m so thankful.

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My Daughter’s Vision Touched Her

LaVonne’s Story (Vision)

Prior to and while my oldest daughter was a student at Biola, a Christian university, she struggled with understanding and picturing what Christ did when He died on the cross for our sins. She wanted to grasp the concept, to feel it live and breathe within her. She loved God already, but she wanted a greater understanding of the crucifixion, and she wanted her understanding of salvation to become more meaningful and real than it was. She had expressed this to God and had wished and prayed for it for quite some time.  Somehow her belief felt like a cerebral, academic knowledge rather than a living, heart knowledge.

She was in class one day when the professor had the students listen to the song, Here I am to worship. They were to think on the words. The words were being sung “And I’ll never know how much it cost, to see my sin upon that cross” when a picture began to form in my daughter’s mind. All other thoughts were removed. It was like a video playing. She was viewing identical cookie cutter figures moving about. They were formed like gingerbread men, all the same size and without gender. Then she noticed one figure that was different than the others. It was bright white, lighter than all other figures. The video in her mind played on. When it was finished, she knew something amazing had happened, and she could finally see it, what Christ had done for her and for all humanity on that cross. Later in the day, she called me and told me about it. I asked her to write it down, and she did.

A few months ago, I came across a notebook of hers while I was sorting through tubs of old items while reorganizing. There was only one entry in the notebook, and it was what she had written on that day about her experience.

She saw it. It changed her.
Christ died to make us whole.

We talked about it and I asked her if I could share her writing with you. She said, “yes.” I asked more about it. She explained how the figures were of all shades of darkness, some with patches of dirt, like smudges, others were caked with filth, and some were mostly white with light shades of darkness. She said her mind felt full with no other thoughts crowding in. It was quite real and vivid.

When it was over, she wondered what had just happened to her and was mystified. But now she understood more clearly what happened at the cross, and she now had heart-knowledge of what took place as Christ died to make us whole. Her question was answered.

I share with you, her words.

Picture in Her Mind:

“Jesus was white, and everyone else looked just like him except they all were covered in dirt. Different people were dirtier, blacker, or whatever (than others). Then they all went and hugged Jesus. Jesus became dirtier than anyone. (He was) caked with filth. Everyone else became pure white as Jesus once was.”

“And I’ll never know how much it cost, to see my sin upon that cross.”

Light of the world, You stepped down into darkness; Open my eyes, let me see
Beauty that made this heart adore You; Hope of a life spent with You

Here I am to worship, here I am to bow down; Here I am to say that You’re my God
Altogether lovely, altogether worthy; Altogether wonderful to me

King of all days, oh so highly exalted; You’re glorious in heaven above, yes You are
Humbly You came to this Earth You created; All for love’s sake became poor

Here I am to worship, here I am to bow down; Here I am to say that You’re my God
Altogether lovely, altogether worthy; Altogether wonderful to me

I’ll never know how much it cost; To see my sin upon that cross

…..

That’s the story my daughter told me so long ago. It still gives me the shivers. God does miraculous things. He chooses when and what. I am glad he shared this small vision of his suffering with my daughter. Its imagery impacted her. Her voice quivered the first time she told me. It was a beautiful yet reflective moment for her.

Here I Am to Worship