Dear Silent Friend,

If we could speak, I would tell you that God wants, loves, and accepts you just the way you are. I know it’s true. I hope this helps.

God loves you,

Norma

Everyone wants (and needs) to be wanted

A universal need in all people is the need to be wanted. Performance often masquerades as acceptance when the outcome is equated with an underlying perception of being wanted. Human relationships often fail to deliver. What’s up with that?

The desire to be wanted for who you are is something most humans crave and expect. And why not? Everyone should be wanted and deserves to be wanted. What is your self-perception?

A conflicted message from others will cause people to ask a telling question of themselves, when their sense of ‘being wanted’ is in doubt. “Does that other person ‘want,’ ‘like’ or ‘love’ me for who I am? Or do they ‘want,’ ‘like,’ or ‘love’ me for what I do, look like, provide, or financially support?”

Bottom line, people want to be wanted for who they are; period. But sometimes acceptance is withheld. Damaged emotions occur. People internalize the message that they’re not good enough. This causes more negatives. To be wanted and liked by others is something they chase after. But there is no end to it.

Relational structures as in family, professional, or intimate, which withhold acceptance until it is earned, that insinuate acceptance is conditional, which portray that a person’s value is arbitrary, granted more to some and less to others, create an unhealthy tension within its perceived lesser-valued, and lesser-wanted members.

Thoughtless, unkind words or actions that attack a person’s vulnerable, inward sense of self can deftly destroy the recipient’s self-image as these negatives, comment by comment, erode fragile personhood and imply ‘you’re not-good-enough’ conceptual beliefs about self.

To meet this very deep need within the self, to know they are wanted, loved, and valued, can cause the emotionally injured to go to extreme lengths to find it. Even then, it may not deliver. People devoid of nurturing love or bereft of positive human bonding–with their realization of having been denied the basic components of meaning, value, and self-worth–squirm under a self-imposed deficit outlook, that is, until they are able to see it for what it is.

Then they are able to work at undoing the damage by repairing their leaky love tank, addressing their self-perceptions, and rewiring their negative self-talk. Progress is made when these individuals are able to accept, receive, and sustain love without doubt, suspicion, or fear. Emotional traumas heal slowly, but they do heal.

But first, one must want it. This inner renewal cycle has happened to me and to many others.  Rejection marks people, but it need not keep them trapped in its pain. Fortunately, every person can find help, and they can ask God to help them.

A healthy ‘self’ is one aspect to the spiritual side of the human condition. God is in the restoration business. He helps, in a highly personal way, those who are willing to do the hard work necessary to achieve this healthy state. God’s children are wanted, and not only wanted, they are loved with pure, holy, unconditional love. God never forsakes, and he always loves the object of his affection.

Safe and secure in God’s loving acceptance  produces inner peace and fullness of joy. The soul-need, their being loved, valued, and wanted, is met and satisfied. Wholeness brings richness to the inner self. Healthy spiritual life is actualized through the transforming love of God. God doesn’t withhold affection from the poor performers or the ones struggling with life. Instead, he assists them as he welcomes them on the spiritual journey of life.

With the innocent trust of a child, every person, with child-like faith, is welcomed into Father God’s warm embrace, much like that of a kind, loving, doting parent. For those yet to experience what it is to be loved without strings, they are in for a treat. This kind of love is found in Christ Jesus. Yes, people mess up, we all do, but that is not cause for them to be discarded or unwanted by God. “For God so loved the world.” God’s love is unconditional.

All are wanted, all are loved, and all are accepted. They are not accepted because of their merit, goodness or stellar performance. For God so loved the world. They are wanted, loved, and accepted because God wants, loves, and accepts them. “Jesus said, ‘Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.’” Matthew 19:14 ESV

That’s you and that’s me.

Give your heart to Jesus and you will know you are wanted, loved, and accepted.

♥♥♥

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How has God ministered to your inner need?