Conversations with Emily (2)

“I’ve been walking this path alone all of my life. It is just me and God wrestling this one out. I’m just tired. Defeated. Losing hope.” Those were her words, and I took them to heart.

Scared and Alone

September 17, 20**

9/17, 7:05am
Me:
GM my friend, Were you able to sleep better? I hope so. Still praying that God will uphold you. Blessings …

9/17, 7:06am
Emily:
It was alright
Thx…feel like I’m fighting this battle alone and I’m not doing it very well at all.

9/17, 7:33am
Emily:
Basically I’m a hot mess over here

9/17, 7:35am
Me:
Even if you are alone w/o friend support, you are not alone. It may be that it’s one of those things you have to face on your own. That means you need to get off by yourself, if you can, and give it all to God. Gotta take my daughter to sch. Be back soon.

9/17, 7:42am
Emily:
I’ve been walking this path alone all of my life. It is just me and God wrestling this one out. I’m just tired. Defeated. Losing hope.

9/17, 8:14am
Me:
I have an assignment for you. (!) Ask God to give you a verse or a song that will help you today. He knows your heart and He will give you something you can anchor yourself with today. When life is too much and I’m in the middle of something and don’t know what to do, I will send up a prayer like this. He usually will give me a thought later in the day. Then I meditate on it all day, or many days, dissecting each word and what it means.

I feel bad that you don’t have support.  My friend, God is enough even when the world crashes in around you. He will get you through this, someway somehow. I will pray hope for you today. When hope is dim, life becomes hard. I’ve experienced loss of hope and its painful reality. Please know, this sister cares and will follow through in praying strength and endurance for you. Joy comes in the morning. You and God. Maybe this is a healing time. Hold onto Him for dear life. Nothing wrong in that.

May God bless you and keep you. May His face shine upon you. Norma

9/17, 10:02pm
Me:
Let me know what else I can pray for you, if there’s anything different. God’s best, Norma

JUST PLAIN SCARED

Her struggle was one that many of us feel on our bad days or during the difficult times. People don’t always understand us. But they try. So much I wanted to help her, but I felt inadequate to the task. To be silent would have been the wrong move. I did what anyone would do, I shared out of what I know and have experienced. Then I trusted God for the rest.

This was delicate, though. I’d learned to be careful, to not preach or overstep, but this time there was uncertainty. One never knows how the other person will receive what we have to say or if they are ready for frank truth-talk.

Online communications are tricky. They make it much harder to perceive the other person’s intent than in live communications. The words can be misread and misunderstood. I knew she needed a life-line and some action steps. I was careful, very careful.

The conversation continues.

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<previous post:  A Woman at Risk:  Conversations with Emily (1)

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Conversations with Emily (1)

A Woman at Risk

Late one evening I noticed a short post on social media. It stopped me cold. The young woman sounded like she was in trouble. Is she suicidal? I wondered. The tone of the brief comment was despondent. We communicated a couple of weeks but with sparse comments. I was concerned for her but didn’t know how to gain her trust. I kept trying. Then this.

The Conversation Begins

September 16, 20**

9/16, 8:25pm
Emily:
everything is not well

9/16, 8:32pm
Me:
What’s up?

Emily:
having a hard time

9/16, 8:35pm
Me
Anything I can do? I’m a good listener. Here’s a hug for now (Emily).

9/16, 8:36pm
Emily:
pray i can get some sleep

9/16, 8:42pm
Me:
Ok, I will do that. As soon as we stop talking. God fixed my computer for me. Really! Its hard drive crashed last week. I was praying yday and God said He fixed it. Today I turned it on and it was back to normal. Doesn’t usually work that way! “Father God, bless my sweet friend. Help her to rest like a baby. Most especially help her to feel carried in your strong arms, you love her so much.” Amen. God bless you.
Norma

9/17, 12:o9am
Me:
Good night. Let me know if there’s anything else. I’ll check later on.

September 17, 20**

9/17, 3:13am
Emily:
Thx

9/17, 7:05am
Me:
GM my friend, Were you able to sleep better? I hope so. Still praying that God will uphold you. Blessings …

JUST PLAIN SCARED

Emily and I were in a newly formed social media group as participants in a book launch for a Christian book about women overcomers, but we were not yet acquainted. I sent her a brief private message. She acknowledged it but didn’t invite further discussion. I responded with a sentence to let her know that I was there and willing to listen.

Thus began ongoing stilted conversation with us communicating a couple of times per week. It was a hard go. I didn’t know to what degree she was struggling or the source of her angst. In time she began to trust me. We got behind the mask to the source of her pain-filled emotions. It was complicated and raw. Slowly I began to share some of what I have learned through my own path to healing. It morphed into a friendship.

Unfortunately I am unable to retrieve our first private messages. Trust me, we didn’t say much other than “How’re you doing?”

In this post, I show a replay of hers and my messages to each other.  This time, however, different than in our prior communications, she takes the initiative by contacting me first rather than our established routine of me checking to see if she is okay. It was this message that made me realize we were making head-way, it wasn’t only me supporting her, but she was allowing herself to be vulnerable by being willing to reach back.

The communication between the two of us continues in the next post. I begin to get to know Emily a little bit better. She has lots of secrets, the troubling kind.

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