How to Conduct a Book Dinner that Works

A Book Dinner works if those participating get something out of it. I think it is that simple. My book ladies enjoy our get-togethers for a variety of reasons. One is, we’ve bonded. Others are, we enjoy getting out, doing something different, sharing a meal together, being with other women, and we like reading.

My brother and his wife were in a couples’ book dinner group for ten years. There were four couples, and they read a variety of books with varying themes. The couples would read their books at home and then come together for a meal. They had fun with it. Sometimes they dressed up like the characters in the book or the time period. I saw them when they dressed like in the 60s and they looked hip! The group became so close they even took some vacations together. I don’t know what books they read except for the book about John and Annie Bidwell’s letters to each other.

My Book Dinner is a little different but you can read about that in last week’s blog.

A Book Dinner works like this.

1. Select a book for the group to read.
2. Select when you will get together and how often
3. Have a meal together . . . this can be done many ways: potluck/restaurant/one person hosts.
4. Discuss the book after dinner or whenever the group decides
5. Plan you next Book Dinner

How my book ladies do it.

1. I’m the central person and usually finds and purchases the books (always open to suggestions)
2. One lady hosts at her home and she provides the main dish; the next time she is exempt from bringing food
3. The other ladies bring the entrées: salad, bread/rolls, side dish, dessert
4. We eat, visit, then discuss the book. One person usually keeps the discussion moving, focused
5. We plan who, what, where and when for the next one

Selecting the right book is important

1. Consider the individuals in your group
2. What do they like, what don’t they like?
3. Listen for people’s recommendations
4. Define your groups’ genre and parameters
5. Decide how you will select books (does the host, group, individual,or  ?)

Pluses and minuses

Select a book that will be a hit, not a miss:  This is not easy!!! It is important to know your people and their interests and reading likes. I know my ladies so well that I can predict fairly accurately what each person will like or not like. I steer clear of books that I think will not be universally liked (too technical, too negative, awkward writing style, too emotional, too different theologically, too out there etc.) even though I may like them.

However, I pick a dud every once in awhile, especially if I have not read that author before. And sometimes I pick a book to stretch us and cause us to think or consider a different perspective. I have to admit, I enjoy springing a new idea on them. Sometimes I help new authors by purchasing their books. As an writer, I have my ear to the ground.

Steer the conversation:  In our discussions we often read quotes that we particularly liked, and then we say why it got our attention. This helps keep us on track. It is helpful to have someone who redirects the conversation if it gets too negative, political, or centered on one person. On the other hand, the timid person needs to be encouraged to participate. There are ways to do this through strategic maneuvers (♥) by asking a new question, highlighting another section of the book, changing the subject, or calling on someone with “What do you think, (name) ?” What is going on in the world or other divisive topics can influence the enjoyment by others in the group. Don’t go down negative rabbit trails too long.

Pick an unofficial leader:  Another need is the need for someone to be the leader. It is sort of a natural thing that happens. But someone has to take responsibility. When they can’t do it, there is another person in the group who will assume the lead. They set the tone. The group expects this of them. Make it fun. Do themes if you want. One lady in our group likes to give gifts, and they make us smile and feel appreciated. One time we were doing a baby shower for one of our ladies, and low and behold, the ladies brought house warming gifts for me, too. I was totally surprised.

Roll with the flow:  If you are the leader, expect the unexpected.  You may pay out of pocket for more expensive book purchases or mailing costs. I accept that as part of leading, and I let it go.  I don’t want my ladies to pay more than a predetermined X amount (which may not apply to other groups). It also keeps me from buying expensive, new releases. Gage your group. Another common thing that happens is you have to change the date to accommodate someone’s need. It is most fun with everyone present, so we change it and are glad we did.

A book club or dinner should be a positive experience for all. What the individuals want out of it will determine how it is organized and what books will be read. My group meets for the enjoyment of reading and we read mostly Christian material that is related to Christian living in some way: biographies, memoirs, missionary accounts, themes etc. Our focus is narrow accordingly. But it is not a study group, so the books are not study books. I assume some groups would would have their own focus according to their interests and experiences.

Next: 51 Books Worth Reading