I’m not liking it.

I have not been on social media much this week. I can’t take all the self-justified, self-righteous bashing. Two groups are doing the bashing. They are bashing because in their way of thinking the person deserved it. The men they are bashing have passed on. . .but they were influential. One has left a ministry in shambles due to accounts of sexual misconduct.

Don’t speak ill of the dead?

The problem comes when it goes too far and becomes a form of gloating or manipulation. Some statements are so hateful they could make you lose faith in humanity. Rush Limbaugh’s brother, David Limbaugh, said he hasn’t been able to speak publicly about Rush since his brother passed on earlier this week, and he said how he will miss him. After that statement on his Twitter thread, comments of hatred of Rush started piling up. They rejoiced in his death and said, “may he rot in hell”…where he belongs…and rage against all kinds of things Rush had said in the past.

This is a reaction to the callous comments and not a defense of Rush. I think it terribly wrong and inconsiderate to be mean-spirited to a brother grieving the loss of the brother he admired. It’s like slapping him down. Those who say something kind are immediately treated to ugliness.

The other is what is being said about Ravi Zacharius and the RZIM ministry now that there is a report with conclusive evidence of wrong-doing. Any person who spoke at Ravi’s memorial or who believed Ravi was innocent of the 2017 accusations are being asked to apologize. And they’re saying the recent allegations are not being handled correctly, that RZIM is slow to act, and slow to make the right public statement. That probably is true, and it should not be swept under the rug. But some of the public condemnation goes way beyond stating the facts.

Though I understand the purpose, to expose and to expect an apology, the ugliness of some the Christian community’s reactions and responses to the wrong-doing is where I take issue. They forget that some of us are grieving, and now with an additional layer of grief, this layer is painful because we loved and respected the man. It was obvious that those who spoke at Ravi’s memorial service loved him. His family loved him. Others loved him and trusted him. Some are in shock, not yet ready to respond. They have been betrayed.

Not to mention, what about those who were his victims, and their pain, and their right to a heartfelt, appropriate response to what happened?

It is hard to wrap your mind around this disturbing exposé. Yes, I’m in denial. I don’t want to believe it. It seems inconsistent with the man. I truly feel for his family and for all who are having a hard time with this, of which I am one. His approach was different than most. He was sincere and kind. I learned from Ravi’s teachings. I appreciated the way he engaged with those who disagreed with him. It all hurts on this end of things, when you have appreciated the man and can’t make sense of what you now know discredits him.

Grappling

Sometimes, you just wonder about it all. Believers are to hate evil and love good. They should not be hateful or vengeful. We can’t excuse wrong-doing or overlook what has happened, but we can focus our attention on God and how He would have us to respond.

Truth in Love

“Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ” (Ephesians. 4:14-15 NIV).

Speak the truth in love. What is the mark of a true Christ follower? How can we know who is and who is not? Their knowledge? No. Their exposition? No. Their love? Yes. Love is a heart thing. We still hate evil and love good. We turn the other cheek and let grace flow unrestricted. We believe that God will do what He is going to do in that other person’s life. We pray to that end. When they’re already deceased, we follow the same biblical process.

This is a hard saying, for these words can be twisted in many directions and disabused of their meaning. We should be wise as serpents and gentle as doves. We should look at the pebble in our own eye before the boulder in someone else’s. Our words should be seasoned with salt. If it is a hard truth, do we say it with glee or with sorrow?

Spirit v. Flesh

Let us be concerned about the right things. Let us be like the descriptors in the beatitudes. Let’s do it God’s way–in the Spirit, but not in the flesh–in prideful arrogance. Another sign of the Christian? Their humility. Life is not about them. It is about Father, Son, and Spirit in their life.

Our words matter. We cannot change other people except by our example and if they’re paying attention. Everyone is responsible for their own behavior. Over reacting is indicative that something is out of balance in us. We use our words to teach, guide, instruct and to bless, give, and minister. Even how we react to those who say ugly things, is a choice we make. I’m almost always dialing back to refrain from saying what my flesh would take relish in saying. Truth is truth. Saying what we have to say, in the spirit, is to say it with grace and truth, and with the love of God.