MIA – Missing In Action

You may have noticed I’ve not been posting lately. I’ve been in a funk ever since the Covid hit. Plus there has been some extra-stretching moments in recent months. My family has entered a new season with my father, which involves all four of us siblings. This means zoom calls, teleconference calls, group texts, hosting Dad, and uncertainty. Plus, the pressure of the pandemic and life in general have their challenges. I spend most days alone, which gets tedious. I like to be informed, that means I follow politics and listen to commentators. What’s going on in America is rather unsettling, at best.

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that.  Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” -Martin Luther King, Jr.

Iron Sharpens Iron

Our Wednesday ‘Pray for America’ sessions bring some welcome relief. I cherish this time of praying for my country, and I appreciate my Twitter friend who walks this journey with me. Every week she shares insightful thoughts in private messages. This past Wednesday I listed out lies people believe and prayed that they would come to see the truth.

What’s Going On

However, the brain gets in a fog. My spirit’s are down. My energy is wanting. My joy, subpar. Hence, I couldn’t do my thing here on this site in good conscience. I didn’t want to be fake or write with pretense. It’s like I was sitting in the dugout for three weeks, waiting for my turn at bat. I had ideas but didn’t have the energy. Last Thursday I spent an entire day on a mini staycation. I read a breezy book intermixed with two other good books.

A languishing spirit and a lack of accomplishment means my goals for 2020 remain unmet. Call it what you will, it feels like failure, guilt, a lack of discipline, and hopeless. Of course, that’s not good, and I can’t make any excuses.

All of this pushed me to take a serious look in the mirror. Something wasn’t quite right, and I knew it. I had to pay attention. It paid off. Looking the situation over gave me permission to fail, clarity as to what’s going on with me, and permission to move forward by embracing whatever comes next.

Take a Proactive Look

I’ve been around the mountain a few times, and knew what I had to do to get out of my rut. I remembered recent years and the major occurrences that affected me. I saw where taxing, challenging, self-defacing situations regarding my parents’ care; my church reorganization and merge—which was hard on me; and on-going challenges in home and yard maintenance issues—with limited funds to do it all. I saw where these have depleted me spiritually, emotionally, relationally, and physically. Putting these worries aside have become a daily thought issue. I’ve had to forgive, let go, and rebuild. Most troubling, though, is something more serious. My spiritual walk is no longer fresh, my writing seems less uplifting, and (gasp) I am stale! Stale is not good for a writer to be!

Now What?

One evening I walked into the guest room to see if it was in order, when I stopped. I stood still. Weight from the inner tension stifled me; heavy, repressive. Tiredness overwhelmed. I couldn’t stand the fog any longer. I looked up and spoke. “Help me! I need Your help.” Tears brimmed. I wanted God’s refreshing Spirit.

That’s how it feels. The fuzziness grips hard. Down feelings make you act different, lost and alone in the middle of life. Hope is on the distant shore. Yet you know you will make it. Things will get better. You hold on to that thing called hope.

You Can Do This

Examining your walk, life, and overall health is a must-do when a problem surfaces one too many times. Troubles and struggles come in many forms. Some are circumstantial and can’t be remedied. These sorts bring a host of side issues that tug at your happiness while muting your spiritual fervor. Some of its telling signs are resentment, bitterness, anger, worry, frustration, detachment from others, fleshly indulgences, dullness, lethargy, and tiredness. The assault on the soul grows and thrives—until they are examined and seen for what they are, such as a negative reaction to a past event (like trauma) or a present event (like isolation) or situation.

Give it to God. Give it all to God. Let Him have it. Say it. “Help me! I can’t do this.” “You take it.” “Show me what’s wrong, what I can do, how to manage it appropriately.” “And could you send me some encouragement, Father?” You learn to rest in Him, to trust Him. You choose to move forward, step by step. You may have to make some necessary adjustments, changes that will facilitate the better good.

Cleaning the kitchen, folding laundry, putting things away, I was busy, busy, busy. A few hours into the next day, I paused. What’s different? I’m getting so much more done. Nothing came to me. Time went on, then; Oh, I know why. I prayed “Help me” last night. That’s why. God answered my prayer. He’s helping me. That’s why I have more energy. “Thank you, Father God. You’re so good to me.” Warmth filled my being. Gratefulness flooded my heart. Yes, God is good … all the time.

A Few Suggestions

You do this thoughtfully and circumspectly. You connect with a good friend and speak your heart. You may connect with a counselor or program that has answers where you have questions or concerns. Lastly, and this is important, you begin to reach out to help someone else. You are needed. You are wanted. You matter.

Feed your whole-self a measure of health-building richness. Eat fresh, wholesome foods. Hydrate often. Exercise in a way that works for you. Connect with others. Read, listen, enjoy, broaden your interests. Smile, laugh often, rejuvenate. Look on the bright side. Refresh yourself in God’s Word. Read lyrics to inspirational songs. Do something to get outta that rut.

It helps to stop immersing yourself in negative commentary. There’s a lot of hatred these days. Remove yourself from mentally exhausting situations, if you can. Fear and anxiety are prone to be reactions facilitated by what a person watches or listens to. Not in a good space? Don’t do it. Too much stuff on the dark side promotes fear and anxiety, and even hopelessness. Dark dreams can be an indication of this. Sleeplessness is another unwelcome side effect. Train your mind toward that which uplifts. Meditate on hope-giving verses. This is imperative if you want to get better. You may need God’s help those times you are weak and weary.

Life is complicated, but God is good. He is our helper in times of trouble. He lifts us up when we are down. All through the night, His love is our anchor. Our hope is in Him alone.