A True Story

Discovering God through Personal Awareness

To give your life to God in a personal way is an emotional, spiritual, and intellectual turning to God for deeper meaning and understanding, which deepens one’s relationship of self to God. This is in response to an awakening in one’s soul to a caring God.

In this post I share a true story. “Gary” and I were talking when he startled me by saying, “I’ve never told you my testimony, have I?” This is how I remember it from when it was told to me. This is an abbreviated version of the story.

The story starts with a confused boy.

As child, Gary was tenderhearted, spunky, but very shy. A physical condition not readily identified and not diagnosed until late elementary school made his ability to access an education difficult. He struggled.

Gary’s parents divorced during his fifth grade year. This knocked him into a tailspin. He became moody, sullen, and distant. Gone was his light and happiness. His sadness was overwhelming. He felt neglected. His mother was dealing with her own pain and was less available to him.

The boy felt his needs were not being met.

His pain grew. By the time he reached his high school years, Gary’s struggles and hurt were majorly influencing him. Bitterness and resentments clung to his emotions. He became depressed. Anger churned. His relationship with his mother deteriorated. He was misunderstood by the people he needed most.

Depression made it hard for him. In Christian university it worsened. He stayed in his room, only going out for meals. No one seemed to notice.  Life darkened. It didn’t seem worth it. He was lost in a place of despondency. He stopped going to class. Then he met with a counselor and that was helpful.

His mother was worried.

Gary left school and landed a job, one that was quite physical and labor intensive. The conditions were not the best, and to complicate matters, it was hard to do his job with the cloud of depressing thoughts.

Old friendships imploded. He had a falling out with a long time friend. That hurt. Gary’s world was spinning out of control. Hopeless. He worried about himself, that he might make wrong choices that would be harmful and leave a lasting impact on him. It seemed life was closing in on him. He was running scared, afraid for himself.

In despair, he picked up his bible.

The bible flipped open to Psalm 142. As he began to read, for the first time in years he began to feel a smidgen of hope. The psalmist’s words were for him. The ache in his heart matched the emotion of the psalm.

I cry aloud to the LORD; I lift up my voice to the LORD for mercy.

I pour out before him my complaint; before him I tell my trouble.

When my spirit grows faint within me, it is you who watch over my way. In the path where I walk people have hidden a snare for me.

Look and see, there is no one at my right hand; no one is concerned for me. I have no refuge; no one cares for my life.

I cry to you, LORD; I say, “You are my refuge, my portion in the land of the living.”

Listen to my cry, for I am in desperate need; rescue me from those who pursue me, for they are too strong for me.

Set me free from my prison, that I may praise your name. Then the righteous will gather about me because of your goodness to me.

The words spoke to his deep need.

A spark kindled. The reading of Psalm 142 marked the first step on his way back to God. Nothing changed outwardly, he didn’t go back to church or anything like that, but he sensed that God was real and was with him.

A couple of years later something happened while he was at church one evening. The speaker was sharing words of truth to an audience of young men and women. He was talking about sin. The young man was drawn to the words of the speaker.

Gary began to weep. His past, his sins, and his hurt paraded through his mind. A deep sorrow overwhelmed him. Gary told me that he could barely stop weeping long enough to drive back to his home. It seemed as if he could go to the depths with no bottom in sight.

In his sorrowing was an opportunity for life.

The mercy and love of God ministered to this young man. His healing began. Another aspect contributed to his healing. It was from a book his grandmother had given him. God Loves You, by Dr. David Jeremiah, speaks the message that God loves you. Gary began to believe God loved him and that God is loving. The knowledge of God’s love in a personal way was meaningful and further encouraged his spiritual awakening.

Gary eagerly pursued God. He was on a spiritual quest to know God. He spent his free time seeking, reading, thinking, praying, and pondering truths of God. He was hungry for what God offered him. His mind cleared. His depression loosened and then lifted. He had more energy.

His faith is real to him.

Ever since those early days of spiritual healing, renewal, and transformation, this young man lives differently. He is sincere in his faith, is an active member of a church family, and is a changed person. He is not the same as he was before.

The first time I saw Gary after his inner transformation, I was surprised by the change in him. It was remarkable. Even his face looked different. The darkness of depression, the sad puppy look, had lifted and his countenance looked light and free. His eyes were bright and clear.

Hands down, his level of change borders on the miraculous. A few years later during a one-on-one conversation with him was when he said to me, “I’ve never told you my testimony, have I?” That is when I heard the rest of his story.

In conclusion.

Gary was desperate. God met him where he hurt and ministered to his need. He wanted what God had to offer him. That his life changed is proof that an inner transformation took place. His faith journey–following God, making changes in his life, and serving the Lord–is proof of God’s tender work in His life. Evidence. Validation. Real and lasting change comes when repentance and sorrowing is experienced and when giving and yielding to God becomes the heart’s desire.

♥♥♥

God loves you. He wants to be a part of your life. You are the reason He sent His Son into the world. Through Jesus Christ’s death, burial and resurrection, you may have forgiveness, hope, and eternal life. God’s love for you is real.

(The original post first published in 2017. This copy is modified)

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