Sometimes I look back at my life and see a trail of disappointments. Then I turn it around and see small and big steps forward and a scattering of accomplishments that made for a miracle, those achievements and graces that came through effort and blessing. I used to be afraid to speak up and had little or no confidence. It no longer hinders me. Unsettling self-doubt is still present, but I can get beyond it now.
The secret is to never stop learning and growing (and loving, and giving, and so forth). Never, never stop.
It is best to reach out of your shell to embrace living rather than to self-protect and close up.
I have come to the conclusion that life really is about giving. Giving cannot be measured by standards of success. Even giving can be for all the wrong reasons. But quiet giving that doesn’t draw attention to itself, giving from the heart, produces miracles all around us. Some of us are those miracles that someone else contributed to in some special way.
A few weeks ago I went to a retirement dinner for a teacher of special education students. There were times in my career when I went to her for advice. Her advice was spot-on and stayed with me throughout my teaching career. During open mic I spoke up and gave her credit where credit is due. She contributed to my life in ways she might not have realized. And, so, the giving I received from her was in the best interest of the students, and it also had a positive affect on me.
I learned the value of choice from her. Instead of giving an ultimatum to a difficult student (you do this or else!!!), two choices are stated. Choice 1) What will happen if they complete the task or behavior expected. Choice 2) what will happen if they choose to not follow, or disregard the expectation. Then it puts the onus on the child. . .and the teacher MUST follow through. This removes the need for confrontation, which can happen with oppositional behavior (they will argue and not back down until you wield a punishment you can’t deliver on…this never works).
Disappointments will always be there. If we have learned from them then we have grown.
And that’s saying something.
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