If you have been a part of the local church for all or most of your adult years, you have heard the comment about how we are to answer difficult questions. Especially when question is a biblical one. We’ve been told to answer with love and truth. At times we answer the questions quite well. But other times, we don’t do so well. We tend to be heavy on the love and carefully mention the truth. We get a little scared about truth, that is, if the truth is a uncomfortable one. But all of us must know the truth or we are giving an incomplete message.

I don’t know about you, but I think most people want to hear the truth. We must be gentle with the truth. And we need to be wise in how we say the truth. It takes a gentleness with holiness to speak the truth in love. However, there is a careful way to bring the two concepts, love and truth, together. First, let’s take a look at love, to figure out what love looks like in a spiritual format. Then let’s look at truth and why it’s important to emphasize it, as well. We need to have a clear understanding of both, love and truth.

I always loved. Maybe you were that way too. The German way was to show it rather than say it. I didn’t hear the word ‘love’ said often, but it was there, always. I just always knew that I was loved by my parents and by my siblings. Not everyone is a lucky as I was. They may live many years without knowing that they are loved. I remember going on this date back in my single days and the guy didn’t believe me when I said my parents loved me. They rarely said it, and he didn’t believe it. We only went out one time, but I’ve never forgotten what he said. It was really kind of hard to explain what I meant.

How Shall We Answer People?

Love is more of a presence. You can feel whether a person loves you or not. Love shows in a myriad of ways. It goes the extra mile. It does the extra courtesy. It seeks to help, and it does more than expected. It even bears hard burdens. Real love is noticeable. However, love doesn’t always make the journey easier or better. Some people will walk all over the kind person and not even think about it. It is one of those things that is not always dished back. Just because you love doesn’t mean you’ll be loved back. But love anyway.

Truth, though, has an imperceptible but good quality. To hear truth in a right way means it must be given out of love. What do I mean? Let me explain it this way. Truth is easy to disregard as unimportant. Some truth is hard to accept. People do not want the truth if it disregards their feelings. Truth tells the truth…always. But, surely, truth must be carefully given or it will not be seen as truth or it will be uncomfortable or unclear. And sometimes truth, what is truth, is hard to hear and bear. But if you speak the truth in love it is easier to understand and accept.

How Do We Combine Love with Truth?

Some things take much time and effort. I think speaking truth, what is true, is easier to accept when love is present. People lie all the time, and I get that. But you don’t need to. Speak the truth in love in a difficult situation. When it matters, it makes a difference. Even when it doesn’t matter, it makes a difference. Sometimes, you have to be quiet, and they get it. Regardless of how you feel, be truthful. Keep your thoughts to yourself, when necessary. At my father’s funeral (age 93) I learned something about him that I didn’t realize. It was told by one of my siblings. He said that my father would leave the room and go to another room when the talk gravitated to someone’s ‘wrong’ behavior. He preferred not to hear it, and by leaving the room he chose to not hear it. That impressed me. What a good way to be. I wish I’d figured that one out.

Really, it pays to figure it out. As I have grown older I am becoming more able to live in love and truth. Partly because I am more at peace with myself. I’m not so afraid about speaking truth now. Like a mixed salad, it tastes richer and fuller when it has more types of veggies in it. Truth is better when mixed with love. The two go hand in hand together. If you overdo the one, it becomes noticeable. Our personalities differ and we will tend to go one way or the other but we do best when both truth and love are present. True love and true truth are best when they are together. We need truth and we need love. Period. If we know the truth we are more certain to walk in it. The same with love.