Our spiritual life can suffer from tedium, routine and neglect, or something else.
It’s a lot like making potato salad.
Exhibit A – Raw ingredients (some spiritual interest)
Exhibit A: A person can have some of the right ingredients:
…but the magic isn’t happening.
Exhibit B – Prepping the ingredients (spiritual interest, duty & behaviors)
Exhibit B: A person can also do all the right preparations:
….but the magic still isn’t happening.
Exhibit C – Mixing, perfecting, combining & releasing the flavors (becoming the real deal, spiritually displaying genuine Christ-likeness)
Exhibit C: It takes something more:
…if you want the magic to happen!
Potato salad can’t be a potato salad until it A. has the right ingredients, B. the ingredients are prepped correctly, C. the salad is assembled and mixed with the right blend of condiments and seasonings. Voila! The result will be unique. No two potato salads are ever quite the same. For years I chased recipes trying to make an acceptable potato salad. No matter what I tried, it never turned out to my satisfaction. My kids didn’t like potato salad. Whew! Off the hook. It became a treat I would enjoy at my folk’s house (my mom makes a mean potato salad) or at a church potluck. I would watch my mother and my sister Marilyn, make delicious potato salads, always wondering why theirs were so delicious and of the right consistency. Along came my last child. She likes potato salad. I got re-energized. We’ve eaten a lot of potato salad as I’ve tried to improve my potato-salad-making skills. It’s getting better. We both think it tasted pretty good when we ate it for lunch today. The truth is, even with the right ingredients, one can still have troubles getting it right. It takes effort, relaxing, trying again, and perfecting, and sometimes, just plain luck.
It’s not just the ingredients! No, it’s not. The recipe for being a spiritual person is not found in a formula. The formula often reads something like this one:
Common Formula: salvation + confession + obedience + praying + bible study = spiritual living
Although we do find these ingredients in a spiritual life, but, like in my potato salad analogy, it’s also knowing how to put the ingredients together, what seasonings, and so forth. My potato salads used to turn out too wet and the condiments didn’t mix well with the potatoes. This frustrated me no end. In the spiritual life, I see friends struggle much like I used to struggle, they are striving and striving. They are trying really hard to be good Christians. But the joy isn’t there and the problems of life often become defeating and disheartening. And they don’t know what to do with their emotional baggage. It’s hard to figure out why it’s not working when you’re “doing” all the right things, and you love God.
In reality, their spiritual walk lacks freedom and joy (it’s not for lack of trying). Peace at the Center is in short supply.
The problem is, it lacks close relationship. People get stuck here. They think this is all there is, but they’re missing the best part! They’re living spirituality without meaningful connection. Relationship connects all the dots. But, you can’t have genuine relationship unless the relationship is developed. To know God with any sense of intimacy takes a genuine heart-felt pursuing of God, a relationship built on trust and honesty. God is interested in having this kind of relationship with YOU. He doesn’t care much for action done out of duty rather than out of love.
If this seems familiar, let me offer a few suggestions that may help you move from Exhibit A or B to Exhibit C, the place where it all comes together into something that blesses in a beautiful way. I share with you the way God brought me into an intimate relationship with Him that has made all the difference in my life.
8 Ways to help you grow closer in your relationship with God:
- Consecrate your life to God. Give Him the controls. Stop dictating your wishes, wants, and expectations. Lean into God.
- Surrender. Let it go, all your plans and good intentions. Start unpealing the layers that make up your life.
- Confess and repent. Instead of routine confession, ask God to reveal what needs confessing. Ask for godly repentance. This is accompanied with sorrowing, evidence that the Holy Spirit is cleansing and revealing godly insight in you. The deadness will leave, and you will be refreshened in a new way. This must not be rushed. It is a process that takes a movement of God in your spiritual life.
- Open up to God. Be honest with God. Let His mirror reveal the depths of your soul. This causes an amazing spiritual insight that enlightens your walk.
- Seek God. Ask Him to reveal Himself to you. Seek and seek and seek. Never stop seeking to know God. You will start loving God more and loving self less. Your spiritual life will enliven as real change begins to seep into your being. Life begins to become sweet. Joy is beginning to enter.
- Forgive (& heal). You must forgive those who hurt you. If you don’t forgive, if you choose to not forgive, you will not be able to live a full spiritual life. There is bondage in you and deadness that must be removed. How? This is hard and they don’t deserve it! I understand. What they did was wrong. But this is not about them, it’s about you. What happened to you is destroying something within you. Until you are free of it, you will continue to subconsciously grieve the offense. God needs to reveal to you the lie(s) you believed, purify the injury, and heal your wounds. He can do this. He is a gentle Father. Don’t be afraid of this. It is not possible to do this alone. God must help you. Ask Him to guide you through this process. If the wounds are deep caused by abuse, abandonment, rejection, or other devastating woundings, please have praying friends pray for you as you go through this. Some things take much prayer, and you may need the extra spiritual support. People want to skip this step, possibly because this is the most difficult spiritual step (in my opinion). You are changing your mindset, letting go of resentment and bitterness, and fighting the forces of evil, all at one time and for one purpose. But when you get through this one, you will begin to experience freedom, peace, and joy. You may also be released from depression or suicidal thinking. This is an essential step for healing of damaged emotions. It is not necessary to confront the person who hurt you.
- Apologize. There may be people whom you have hurt or offended. If God leads you to write, call, or speak to them, do it. There is no shame in apologizing and being contrite. But one must be prayed up and certain before addressing the other person or it may backfire. Apologize when you have peace that it is the right time to do so. If they are no longer living, unavailable, reactive, or it would be unwise to approach them, I suggest you write the apology out and then pray it to God. Then destroy the paper.
- Meditate and pray. Begin actively meditating on scripture. Change up your prayer life. Make it real-life. Begin listening for the Holy Spirit to minister understanding to you. Pray for things of God more than a routine, scripted “prayer list” so that you might draw nearer to the mind of Christ, the will of God, and ministry of the Holy Spirit.
There is much more that can be incorporated, of course, like the development of spiritual disciplines. These are only a jump-off point that will help restart your spiritual life, if it, indeed, lacks strength, spontaneity, or loving charity. If you are a negative person or a controlling person, if you withhold in close relationships or you are self-righteous in attitude, then there’s a good chance that some of these points are lacking in your spiritual life. “Why” you do what you do, is a true indicator of your spiritual life. If your life reads like a story in the New Testament church, you know you are on the right track. Once you experience Exhibit C, you will never want to return to Exhibit A or B. Life becomes one melodious Ode to Joy. People will start taking notice of the change in you. No matter what happens, you will be able to survive. Relationship with God, His “Peace at the Center” will keep you focused.
